Today is a day set aside for bloggers to post something that support LGBT families. I have decided to participate as a supporter. I don't usually get involved in what I see as highly controversial subjects, but today I have something to say, and this is the perfect opportunity. Please join me in taking a moment to think about families who may not be traditional but are families (sources of love and support) none the less.
I would like to talk about the word "gay." As a teacher it bothers me when I hear young people saying, "That's so gay" or "You are so gay." It seems we have forgotten that words have power. We throw them around like they mean nothing. The fact is, words can be VERY discouraging.
Think about it. If words have the ability to cheer us up and make us happy, they can most certainly do the opposite. One day I was walking around the classroom, supervising a group of 5th graders working in groups. The children were in a good-natured argument about who's project idea was going to win as the best. One student got frustrated with another and said, "You don't know anything..... You're so weird.... You are so gay!" I turned around and told the student to calm down. Name calling would not be allowed in the classroom when I was in charge. The student who the comments were directed to said, "Oh, it's not a problem, we're just fooling around."
This started a discussion about appropriate joking. I explained that joking should never hurt- anyone. It shouldn't be derogatory (yes, I did make them look this word up in the dictionary), and it should never take a group of people and put a negative label on them. The whole group of students were furious with me for making a big deal out of a little word. I held my ground, though, and explained my expectations one more time to be sure the students understood how I felt. One student said, "But no one cared, Mrs. G. It didn't matter to anyone."
From the quiet sidelines of the group I heard one little voice whisper, "It mattered to me." I registered this voice in my mind, but I didn't want to single this youngster out. I let the comment go, but I knew I had done the right thing in reiterating my feelings several times. Name calling, no matter how innocent it may appear, is simply not acceptable. Period.
To this day I don't know what the boy on the sideline was feeling. I don't know if he has a family member or a friend who is gay. Maybe he is already considering his own sexual orientation. What I do know is that everyone deserves to feel respected and valued. In my classroom that will be true at all times. Words may just be words, it's how we use them that matter.
10 comments:
I 110% agree! Powerful post.
Thank you Trisha. I appreciate you reading and commenting!
Karen...
this is one issue that has probably kept me from getting a full time pastorate--because I get asked how I feel about this issue---being gay and in the church--and for me it is an non-issue which is not the right answer....come over later tonight....now that I know what the day is...I'm going to do my post about this as well.....you did a good job...the example you shared speaks volumes about the way our words impact others...
thank you
Pleemiller, it is sad to me that a person with a beautiful heart such as yours gets kept away from the church- even if it is only by subtle reactions. Yet, so many of the "Christians" I have met lie, cheat, or steal and are seen as wonderful people. Okay, I won't go there. Obviously a hot-button issue for me- as most of us know.
I will definitely be stopping by to read your blog post. I can't WAIT to hear what you have to say!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Just vented about it all on Pleemiller's blog. Read about your post there. Missed it somehow when I was here yesterday. It's wonderful that you drew a line. The kids know that there is the potential to hurt even if they do it innocently. It's the casual commentary made under the guise of a joke that takes on a life of it's own. It all begins this way. Hats off to you Karen! May you influence many many more classrooms to think in universal terms rather than in silly old moulds!
Anne: I saw your vent at Pleemiller's blog and commented on it. It's great to see all of us willing to find our voices here in bloggy land. I hope that continues into "real life!"
You said, "It's the casual commentary made under the guise of a joke that takes on a life of it's own." This is SO, SO true! My own 10-year-old seems to think she can say anything she wants right now and come back with "just joking" when someone doesn't like it. Nope, not in my house! Words are powerful EVERYWHERE, even if it is with the ones you love. Maybe even more so. I hope she drops that habit very quickly, though it helps that her father doesn't let her get away with it, either.
I hope I can influence many classrooms, too. I think sometimes teachers are afraid to teach morals in this way, but I personally think it is my job to guide the students to be the best they can be.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Gosh what can I say! My nearly nine year old son is the same. I try, without losing it, to tell him that "just kidding" is an excuse for being crass and impolite. The new thing is, "Oh! It's opposite day today". Which is basically that he will say "no" to whatever I suggest and offer contrary/rude answers and then say, "Didn't you get it? It's opposite day. So I'm really going to do what you say!"
And then there will be the teenage years. Heaven help me and bless my mother's heart.
Anne: My girls tried the opposite day thing exactly one time. I told them there will never again be Spongebob in our house if they tried to pull it again. It just happened that they had watched the Spongebob episode with opposite day the day before. They've never tried that one again! LOL I hated opposite day back when my brother would try it on me as kids, so there was NO way I was going to let my girls do that one! LOL
Goodnes help us in the teen years!
Actually, I don't like euphemisms at all, because to me they lead to exactly this sorts of situations. 'Homosexuality' is not a dirty word, and when someone miuses 'gay' my response is 'pretty happy, most of the time, yes!'
that's life: I understand that completely. It drives me crazy when someone in a movie or book says "gay" meaning happy and everyone snickers.
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