Why I Don't Limit Screen Time

Yep, I am a bad mom.  I've finally admitted it.  I am horribly negligent and indulgent.  I, *gasp,* don't limit my children's screen time!  Nope, not on the computer, not on the TV, not on the phones, not. at. all.

Every article I have read lately tells me that I am allowing my children to rot their brains, stunt their growth, and sprout appendages that resemble cell phones from their bodies.  I disagree.  As with anything, there is certainly the potential for all of those things to happen (with the possible exception of the appendages, but the jury is still out on that), but it is my job as a parent to teach my children how to handle themselves without setting such strict limits that it becomes just another way for the kids to break the rules.

I don't believe that computers, cell phones, and television are inherently evil.  In fact, all three mediums have been used in the last month to build relationships with my children.  What can be bad about that?

Photo credit

Case #1:  My husband and my 11-year-old daughter have been watching some documentaries about quantum physics.  It is not something I am interested in, but I have been enjoying their debates about what they have seen.  The most beautiful words.... "I'm not sure I agree.  Let me look into that more."  Then the two of them hit the computer and spend two hours researching various viewpoints of the experts on the subject.  This project then turned into my husband coaching Amber on how to form an intelligent argument and debate civilly with others.  It also turned into a writing assignment doing the same.  Oh, and to take it even farther, the two then compared and contrasted verbal vs. written arguments and researched official debate rules.  I'm so glad we stuck to only 60 minutes of combined screen time that day. (Dripping with sarcasm.)

Case #2:  My daughters have never been known to get along well.  But, there is one thing that is helping them to build a bond.  It is a silly little app called "Guess the Emoji."  These are picture clues, and the player is to guess what they represent.  Not only have the girls been playing together, but they have gotten Daniel and I into the game, too.  I'm terrible at it, so we all have a great laugh when I get one right before the rest of the family.  Daniel was so into the game that he came home from work the other day and immediately started playing with Amber.  They played for hours, laughing, talking, and listening to music while guessing these silly pictures.  Oh yeah, they somehow wound up doing research about World War II, sparked by one of the images.  We had a great history lesson that night to go along with our horseplay.

Case #3:  As is common with teenage girls and their moms, my 13-year-old and I have been having a bit of a rough time seeing eye-to-eye lately.  There is not much we talk about without getting into some kind of argument, and we are working on that part of our relationship.  There is one thing we can agree on, though.  We have found a couple of mind-numbing TV shows, which I seem to need after a day of teaching.  So, "Say Yes to the Dress" or "What Not to Wear" goes on the television, and Andrea and I watch together.  We get to start discussions that are not threatening.  I have found out what Andrea envisions for her future, both in marriage and career.  We talk about appropriateness of clothing and how people are acting on these shows.  It has truly opened conversation on a different level, probably because it is not personal to begin with.  From this jumping point we CAN talk about issues more embedded in our hearts.  If I get to spend two or three hours chatting with my daughter about silly clothing, I'm going for it.  It has definitely NOT been time wasted!

Too many times in today's society we see issues in absolutes. Screen time is terrible.  This is one idea that I just don't agree with.  On the flip side, I wouldn't say all screen time is wonderful, either.  This is where balance comes in.  I tend to treat my children like they can make wise decisions, and I believe they do.  Is every minute they spend in front of the screen inspired like the cases illustrated above?  No!  But, allowing for these interactions to occur naturally is well it to me.

Teaching Tools

I have come to the conclusion that I have a very unpopular opinion and a very different way of looking at things.  It all started over an article that is making its way around the teaching community.  The article, titled "What You See in Today's Public School Classroom Is a Mirage," is about how teachers are provided with very little material to make classrooms inviting.  It talks about the transformation from dull and drab to fabulous by teachers, all paying for the items out of their own pockets.

I will agree that teachers spend money out of their own pockets to make our classrooms unique and interesting.  I will even agree that teachers spend money on materials that are essential to learning.  My position, however, is that we don't HAVE to do these things.  To take that position even farther, I would venture to say that we SHOULDN'T do these things.

Let me start by saying that I work for an incredible district.  Curriculum needs are met in abundance.  I have everything I could possibly need to teach my students.  A district curriculum map is provided for us that tells us exactly what unit and lesson we should be teaching, and the materials are provided for those lessons.  I don't have to spend money on extra workbook or supplemental material.  Supplies such as staples and white-board markers are available, though we are asked to be conservative at times, especially regarding the use of copy paper.  I understand that I am in a position of being well cared for when it comes to having everything essential to teaching.

What I don't have, however, is everything I WANT.  I think this is where many teachers are missing the boat in the complaint department.  We do tend to spend a lot of money out of our own pockets, but when we look closely, I would guess that at least 75% of that money is on materials that make our rooms more appealing to US- not to help the students perform.  And, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. Heck, we spend more waking hours in that classroom than we do in our own homes during the school year. We should be comfortable and happy in our surroundings.  BUT, let's be honest about it rather than misleading the public on how terribly we are treated.

I learned a valuable lesson about want vs. need this past school year.  After a month of class time had gone past, my district experienced a 5% pay cut.  Everyone from the superintendent to the janitors were being cut due to.... well, that's a whole different story.  Anyway, this was a shock and a HUGE blow to my family's financial situation, especially since I had just signed up for our health insurance plan that was raised in price by $100 per paycheck.

On that day, I vowed to not spend another dime out of my own pocket for my classroom.  I simply couldn't afford it any longer.  I didn't love my students any less, I didn't want to see my students be successful any less, I didn't want my students to enjoy school and do fun activities any less.  I simply couldn't continue to provide for my classroom the way I had in the past.  So, I started to learn how to do activities differently and to ask for help where needed.

I was successful for the rest of the year and it turned out to be a great experience.  There were certain activities that I wanted to do with my students, that in the past I would have purchased the materials for. Instead, I sent out emails to families asking for donations for the supplies.  If I didn't get those supplies, I didn't do the activity.  I found something else that would teach the same concept in a different way.

My favorite part was how the decoration in my room changed.  No longer was I printing, using my own ink, colorful posters and learning aides. Instead, the students made the decorations.  One whole wall was dedicated to student work and writing samples. I called this my "Super Star" board and each student couldn't wait to see if their assignment had made it onto the board.  It INCREASED student effort!

I didn't have the cute posters of years past in order to keep track of student data, but I did have spreadsheets that showed the same thing.  I didn't have the perfect garden theme, but I used the colors that I enjoyed.  Family and friends gave me posters and supplies that were on my wish list for my birthday and for Christmas.  The bottom line:  Not using my own money didn't hurt my students a bit.  In fact, it made me more creative and a more out-of-the-box thinker.

The only way to change the expectation of teachers using their own funds to decorate classrooms is to stop giving in to it.  Dr. Phil is famous for saying that we teach people how to treat us.  In a large way, I agree that this is happening in the education field.  We, teachers, wanted more than what was provided to us, so we started out by giving a little.  It has turned in to an expectation, and I believe we can stop the cycle.

Scoliosis

It all started about a month ago when I got a phone call from the school nurse.  She said she was sending home a paper with Andrea (my 13-year-old) that I needed to take very seriously.  The nurse had just completed the normal 7th grade scoliosis screening, and she was seeing some VERY abnormal results.  She would like for us to schedule an appointment with our family doctor to have this checked out.

We got an appointment with our family doctor for the next week, and he said he would be very surprised if it was anything to worry about.  The look on his face when he did the exam told us he was more concerned than originally expected.  He gave us an order for a full-body x-ray and asked us to make the appointment as soon as possible.  Two days later, Andrea got an x-ray that showed from the base of her head to the top of her pelvis.

That week, we went to my brother's wedding, and we were going to call the doctor for the results when we returned on Monday.  The doctor didn't wait for our return, though.  He called us on Thursday evening to let us know that Andrea had severe scoliosis, and he wanted her to be seen by a spine specialist as soon as possible.  A week later, Andrea was being seen by a spine specialist who made the appointment very short. "This is not something I can handle; she needs to see a surgeon, and I would like her to see one sooner rather than later."

The spine specialist called and scheduled an appointment, and it was only two days away.  The surgeon confirmed that Andrea has a case of scoliosis that is severe, and it will continue to get worse at the rate of 1 degree per month until she stops growing, then it will progress at 1-3 degrees per year after that, if surgery is not done to repair the bend.  Andrea actually has three curves- one is 61 degrees, one is around 40 degrees, and the third is around 30 degrees.  Anything over 30 degrees is considered moderate, and anything over 40 degrees is considered severe.  At 70-90 degrees, depending on what research is being looked at, damage to the lungs and heart begins from the rubbing of the bone against the organs.  The surgeon said he would like to do the surgery sooner rather than later.  It was scheduled for the 19th of this month.

Now, however, we have hit a MAJOR snag!  After getting approval for the surgery from our insurance company, they called the surgeon and said they could not actually give approval.  We have a plan that doesn't cover that particular doctor or hospital, even though my husband was told everything was good, as was the doctor's office.  Someone at the insurance company had made a mistake, and they could not approve the surgery.  

We have spent hours today calling the insurance company and various surgeon's offices to find another surgeon.  We are running up against road blocks at every turn.  Everyone is SO frustrated and feeling so out of control.  

I just wish we could get a clear answer from the insurance company and cooperation from a surgeon.  It worked so smoothly with the original referral!  If we don't all keel over from exhaustion today, I will be amazed.