Prompt: Holiday

suggested by Egyptian Home

"Are you looking forward to the next holiday? Why or why not?"

I AM looking forward to the next holiday.  Tomorrow will be Thanksgiving.  This has become my favorite holiday.  There are no gifts to exchange, there is no pressure to do things "just right," and for our family there is not a lot of people.  We have sort of made it a tradition to hang out with my parents on Thanksgiving, at their house with just the six of us.  We prepare a ham since my mom is allergic to poultry, but we also have turkey.  I'd even be okay with skipping the turkey.

Oh, and before you ask.... NO, I am NOT participating in Black Friday shopping.  Not on Thanksgiving afternoon, as many of the stores are promoting, and not on Friday, either.  I'm staying home and relaxing!

Homeless

Prompt:  You meet a homeless person on the street. Do you give them money? Why?

I cannot bring myself to give somewhat money straight out.  I do, however, help homeless people as often as I can.  Unfortunately I just don't trust that the money I give will help the homeless person directly.  Maybe I have just come to understand that some people just aren't honest.  Either way, if I do help the homeless it is either to buy them food directly or to take them something they need like a blanket or clothing.  I am generous, but my own financial situation being what it is, I just can't afford to give money.

Room Mom

I'm so excited.  I have an official room mom for my classroom now!  At the beginning of the year we had to choose a room mom, and I had a couple of volunteers.  The one I picked, though, wasn't very involved.  Being a fairly new teacher I didn't really want to tell her that I needed more, and I really didn't know what she was supposed to do, anyway.

Last week I got a new student, and the mom said she had always been involved in the daughter's classroom, often as the room mom.  She asked if I needed any help, especially with the holidays coming up. Do I ever!  The first task I set my new room mom to was updating our bulletin board.  We are supposed to put up a new board monthly, and my November bulletin board was a bit behind.  I explained what I wanted, and our room mom went straight to work.  Wow!  It looks like a professional came in and put together our board, titled, "We Are Thankful For the Seven Habits."  I will share pictures soon.

This week the sixth grade teachers are putting together a Thanksgiving feast for our students.  We had asked for children to bring in dishes to pass, but we needed dinner rolls to make turkey sandwiches.  We got only a couple packages pledged, and I always worry that food won't show up when parents sign up.  I asked my room mom to call parents and see if we can get sixty rolls more (about ten packages) so each student and volunteer can have a sandwich.  She said not to worry- she will pick up the rolls.  I can't believe her generosity, as I know this will cost about $30.  I don't know how to thank her enough.

Our new room mom is already talking about the Christmas party for our classroom, and I definitely have no worries.  I can be completely hands-off and focus on lessons between now and then.  What a wonderful relief for a teacher.  I know my students will be taken care of, AND I can put my attention and effort where I need to.  I love having an official room mom!

School

I may possibly be the worst teacher-mom in the world.  As a teacher, I know there are certain things I "should" be doing for my daughters, but I don't.  Call me lazy, call me busy, call me what you will, but to be honest I just don't place the same value on certain school activities that others do.

Parent/ teacher conference time rolled around, and I simply didn't want to go.  I didn't want to rush from my teaching job to go into a meeting to hear that the girls were doing great and their teachers love them.  It's the same thing year after year, and frankly I know what it feels like from the other side, too.  "Here is a sample of the work your child is producing, I really have no concerns, let's move on."  Seriously, in this day and age of on-line grade books there is not much left to say face to face.  I see the homework the girls are doing, and I can see how they are progressing when I ask questions about what they are doing in school.  So, I checked the box that said, "No conference needed at this time" rather than scheduling an appointment.

Curriculum night was the same.  I know what should be and is covered in fourth and sixth grades.  I was somewhat interested in attending the sixth grade session so I could steal ideas of how Andrea's school is handling book reports, reading requirements, math differentiation, etc. so I could use the ideas in my own classroom.  I figured I'll see all of it as Andrea brings it home, though, so I again decided not to fly from my job to their school.  We did, however, attend the science camp meeting that same night so Andrea would be prepared for her experience.

I know I should be requiring the girls to practice math facts every night for at least five minutes, study their spelling words, and study for tests.  But I don't.  After they get home from school at 4 pm, do their assigned homework, and eat dinner, it is usually approaching 6:00.  They go to bed at 8:00 and have 30 minutes of reading to do once they crawl into bed.  I really have a hard time asking them to tack 30 minutes onto their requirements, on top of the chores they need to get done as well.   They need time to be kids.  Besides, I like playing Just Dance 4 with them.  The sooner they can get to the fun, the better.

Lies

I recently read the following question:  "Is it possible to lie without saying a word?"  I really thought about it, though I instictively knew the answer was ABSOLUTELY.  Why, then, did I have to think?  Well, I thought about what I lie about without saying anything.  I think we all do it at some point or another.

What is it that I lie about?  I don't stand up for what I truly believe in.  I don't speak out when I see something that I know is against my personal opinion in the name of playing nice.  I don't want to hurt other people's feelings or get in an arguement that may damage a relationship.  So I don't always share how I feel about topics, especially regarding religion and politics.

I am aware of this, but to be honest I'm not willing to change it.  On certain things I have my own thought processes, and I will continue to keep them mostly to myself.  Maybe it's because I don't want to be judged, or maybe it's because I'm not willing to explain my position.  I don't really know the reason.

So there you have it.  I am not honest 100% of the time on political or religious views.  I will ride the fence if I have to in order to avoid an awkward conversation.  I hope I haven't offended anyone in my effort to not be offensive!

Prompt: Proud

Question:  What have you done that you are truly proud of?

I think we all know how proud I am of going back to school to get my degree in education and starting my career in teaching.  That is a personal accomplishment I am proud of.  There is, however, something I am even more proud of, but it is not something I can claim on my own.

Together with Daniel I have built an incredible family.  Our daughters are amazing!  They are smart, funny, and beautiful. They are kind and caring.  Our lives have not been perfect.  Many times I would say it has been a struggle.  Through it all, though, the girls have never stopped being an inspiration.  I am truly proud that our family has stuck together and we are happy.

Citizenship Test

I found this floating around Facebook on the 4th of July, and I just had to share it with you.  Can you pass this test?  I think it's amazing that we expect incoming citizens to know so much more than what we expect of our graduating high school or college students.  Go ahead, give it a try!

Prompt: I Changed My Mind

Question:  What's something you changed your mind about when you grew older?

As most readers know, I graduated from college when I was 36-years-old.  If you had asked me ten years before what I would be doing in 2011, it certainly wouldn't have been student teaching and preparing for a career in education.  Frankly, when I married Daniel I thought I would be quite content being a stay-at-home mom and a housewife.  

As both of my girls were getting ready to be in school full-time I realized I was pretty bored at home.  I would never have done well staying at home without a purpose.  Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that anyone who stays at home with children in school is lacking purpose.  For ME, though, it didn't feel right.  When I ran into a teacher of mine from junior high, I knew what it was I wanted to do with my life.

Moving On

This past weekend I was on Facebook, and I was getting so frustrated.  See, I've joined a lot of mental health sites, and on some of them I get valuable information.  For the most part, though, I've come to get frustrated with the posts I see.  People write in to ask questions that just seem silly to me.  It seems like they are looking for attention or are intentionally heading down a path of self-destruction.

Then it hit me:  I am so fed up with the sites because I'm ready to move on.  I have taken all I can from the information, and have done all the processing needed.  I talked to Daniel about it, and he said he felt the same.  We have learned as much as we can about bipolar.  We have set up routines and a lifestyle that works for us.  We have put support systems and backup plans into place.  Most of all, we have come to rely on each other and to accept the reality of our lives together.  We are no longer afraid.

I guess this is yet another example of how Daniel and I have coped with life changes since the time we got together.  We process a problem, find out what we have to do to face it, then start taking the steps necessary to make life work.  Once we can figure out how to make the best out of life with the situation we have, we stop worrying about it.  It took nine months for us to figure this one out, but we are here.

We are incredibly fortunate that Daniel has come so far so quickly.  We realize that there will be speed bumps along the road.  The medications that are working great right now will not be so effective in a couple of months or years.  We don't know when that might be.  We'll worry about it at the time, though.  Yes, life has its crappy parts, but for now bipolar is under control.

Prompt: No Plans

Question:  What's your favorite thing to do when you have no plans?

It is very rare that we don't have plans, but when we find ourselves with nothing to do I love sitting in our living room with my family.  We each find our own things to do, yet we are together.  I may be playing on one computer, while Daniel plays on the other.  The girls might be playing the Wii or watching a show on Netflix.  One of us might be reading or playing with the dogs.  No matter what we each find to do, it is nice to unwind and relax.  Eventually we all come together, either playing a board game or the Wii, watching a movie, or cleaning the house.  Family time doesn't have to be forced togetherness.  It just kind of happens for us.

Happy Birthday Daniel!

Today is Daniel's 34th birthday.  I can't believe we got together when he was only 20.  I don't feel like we've changed a whole lot until I look back on pictures of our first year together.  Man, have we gotten old!

Life has certainly changed since Daniel's last birthday.  Daniel started a new business.  He is partnering with a friend of his to offer landscape services and handyman services.  The two of them work together on all the jobs.  It keeps them company, they encourage each other, and they can bounce business ideas off each other.  I wasn't sure how I felt about the partnership at first, but I am slowly coming around to it.

Daniel's bipolar diagnosis in March has made a world of difference in our lives.  Even though the first few months were hell, the doctor seems to have the medication issue under control for the moment.  I think there will always be adjustments and changes, but for the most part I am able to recognize patters and encourage Daniel to call the doctor and find out what can be done.  We don't let things spiral out of control to the point they seem like something we can't handle.

I don't know where we will be another year from now, but I'm looking forward to finding out.  Happy Birthday Daniel!

My Little Girl Turns 10

As usual with my posting, this is coming a bit late, but that's okay.  It just means that we've been busy living life, and I haven't had as much time to play on the computer and write as I have in the past.  That's actually good news!

On Monday my youngest daughter turned ten years old.  I don't know where the time has gone.  Some days it seems like it was just yesterday we brought that girl home.  I can still remember standing in the driveway arguing with Daniel about boys names just minutes before leaving for the hospital.  "You better hope this is a girl, or we might be coming home with a child with no name!"  Other days it seems like it should have been twenty years ago already.  We've gone through so much as a family.

Ten years ago Daniel stood over Amber's bassinet in the delivery room urging her to breathe.  At thirty seconds old she had not yet cried, worrying the doctor and her anxious parents.  At one minute, she finally decided she was going to join us in life and let out her first holler.  Now, when I can't get her to stop shouting, I remember how happy I was to hear that sound in a different context.  I try to remember to be thankful for all the ups and downs in her life, because it means she HAS life.

That wasn't the end of Amber's breathing problems, either.  At three months old she was panting like a dog.  Doctor after doctor couldn't figure out what was happening, and our pediatrician spent hours on the phone with doctors across the country.  We took Amber to visit my brother in California, and she suddenly stopped doing her funny breathing and never did it again.  When we visited the pediatrician he said he was glad, because to be honest all he was coming up with was a fatal disease.  Yet another example of Amber's determination.

Today our girl is healthy and strong.  Her main love is karate, and she loves to cook.  My parents got her a dancing gorilla that plays "Kung Fu Fighting" for her birthday.  She says it is her new best friend.  I wish I saw Amber with more human friends, but I think that will come in time.  Daniel and I got Amber some cooking gadgets, a couple of cookbooks for kids (thanks again Mira!), and a homemade cookbook with recipes I found online and from other sources.  For her birthday dinner, Daniel handed her the ingredients for tacos and told her to go for it.  That night she said she was so happy she could cry.  She hand washed all her gadgets and cleaned up the kitchen, saying she had a great birthday.  I sure wouldn't be happy if I had to make my own birthday dinner, but to each their own!

I wonder where life will take us in the next ten years.  I can't believe my youngest daughter is more than half-way to adulthood.

Prompt: Qualities of a Friend

Prompt:  What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?

I have to tell you that I don't really sit and think about this too much when I am forming relationships.  It either happens or it doesn't.  Maybe I'm strange and need to be more selective.  I prefer to think that the world will just sort itself out in time.  I will pretty much hang around anyone.  If I find I don't care for that person the relationship fizzles and we stop seeing each other.  Others I may not see for weeks or months, but when we do get together it's like we just saw each other the day before.  Some of my friends, though, I talk to either by text, Facebook, or in person just about daily.  I can't really say one is better than the other, just different.

In my mind, the same is true for qualities in a friend.  I could tell you I look for someone with a sense of humor.  That's not necessarily true, though.  Some of my friends are very serious, some are hilarious.  Each fill a different need at various times.  I could go on and on about the qualities my friends have.  The bottom line is that they each care about me and I care about them.  That is really the most important aspect of a person I call friend.

Disc Golf

Photo Credit

I have found a new love, a new hobby, a new interest.  Call it what you will, my eyes have been opened to a whole new world.  Disc golf- just like you would imagine by the name, people try to put a flying disc into a bucket.  It's a combination of Frisbee and golf.  

When my brother was here visiting he took Daniel and I out to play.  What great way to pass some time!  Disc golf was a fantastic way to enjoy the fresh air together.  It is a sport that allows people to talk and interact while competing or sharing a friendly game.  This is one thing I really enjoyed about the game.

Some benefits from playing disc golf include a full-body workout, time away from the TV and couch, and a relatively inexpensive experience.  I was amazed at how sore I was after playing the game.  It's not just the throwing arm that gets used.  Disc golf includes walking and bending as well.  The nice part, though, is that this can be taken at your own pace. Arthritic joints don't have to be stressed by quick movements.  The sport can be leisurely or fast-paced.

Fred, my brother, also took my parents out to play.  They enjoyed the game as well.  This Christmas the "big" gift for the girls will be a set of disks so the six of us can play golf together.  I'm looking forward to having something fun to play and to be active outdoors.  I think the girls will be frustrated with the game at first, but once they get the hang of it I can see us playing often.  In our area there are several courses, so we definitely have a lot to explore!

What is a new game, activity, or sport that you have discovered lately?

Prompt: Never Say Never

Question:  What's something you said you'd never do, but have since done?

Never say never.  This is definitely some sage advice.  I really try not to make generalizations anymore.  I know that there are always circumstances that could change my mind.  There are reasons people do things that I may not understand, but maybe it's better that I don't.  To walk in someone else's shoes and see why they do certain things may be too painful.  

I know there are things Daniel and I do that people don't understand.   Like days on end of eating fast food because life is piling up on us too quickly.  "But preparing food at home isn't that difficult," the health blogs say.  True.  Very true- for many people in most situations.  Sometimes for us, though, just getting food of any sort on the table can be a challenge when the two of us are dealing with stress coming from a combination of mental illness, physical pains, and stress.  

What have I done I thought I never would?  I had sworn I would never again open myself up to be hurt the way I was ten years ago when I told someone something wasn't right with my husband and my marriage.  I was made to feel inferior and that there was something wrong with me.  I was never again going to tell a living soul that I was going through hell with ups and downs my husband experienced and  I didn't understand.  I'm glad that by Daniel taking a risk and seeking treatment I was forced to share with SOMEONE and that I also opened up in the blogging world.  I never thought I could find support like I have.

Prompt: Worth It While It Lasted

Question:  What didn't last forever, but was still worth your while?

I pretty much believe that everything I do is worth my while.  I don't have regrets.  Have I always made the wisest choices?  No, but even those decisions were worth my time because I learned from them.  It's all in how you look at making mistakes and being confident in moving forward in life.

A few of the bigger lessons I learned:

1.  Don't move in with your boyfriend at age 18 if your family is saying there is something weird about him.
2.  No matter how much you love someone, don't follow him or her down a path you know is not allowing you to be the best you can be.

3.  If, within the first twelve hours of being married (husband #1; not Daniel) you know it is a mistake, go for the annulment, no matter how embarrassed you will be.
4.  Don't wait for "the perfect time" for anything.  There never is a perfect time.  If you dream it, go for it!
5.  Life your life for you.  NO ONE else has to walk in your shoes.  No one else knows how the events in your life have shaped you.  In the end, YOU are the one you have to please!

Promt: Message

Question:  If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?

There are a couple messages that I work on spreading, but I guess they all fall under one general concept:  Stop hating each other, stop judging what you don't know, and work on being kind.  Really, it makes me sick to see how selfish our society has become.  I read an article not too long ago that said we are 40% less compassionate than we were a couple decades ago.  I'm not sure how they measured that, but frankly that's a pretty scary statistic, even if you cut that percentage in half.

People seem to feel the need to shove their religion, their opinions, and their thoughts down the throats of others.  If you don't agree with me, the thinking goes, you are wrong and don't deserve to be in this world.  What happened to tolerating differences, and trying to understand where others are coming from?  I honestly think if we would stop trying to make everyone the same this world would be much better off.

Who Are You? Part 2

Continued from Who Are You?  

8. To which social class do you belong? 
Um.... the VERY, VERY, VERY lower middle class, I guess.  Are there even social classes left in America?  Really, you either have enough to support you and three other families, or you struggle, it seems.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
Well, this list could just go on and on. 

I have what some doctors refer to as seasonal asthma.  Really I just have terrible seasonal allergies and tend to get sick twice a year as the weather changes.  Funny, though, I haven't really had that problem since having shingles.  Daniel and I have both noticed that I will have some of the symptoms I had when I had the shingles, but on a much lesser scale, but not the allergy symptoms.  Hmmmmm.....

I have endometriosis and hypothyroidism to name a few diseases.  I've had both of those so long that when I'm feeling miserable I don't even think to attribute my weaknesses to those two issues.  They both do cause a lot of trouble, though.  I just don't think about it.

As far as physical weaknesses, I am definitely not at 100% after having shingles, and by now I know I never will be.  I've come to accept that.  Now I have a healed fracture in my tailbone and one in my elbow to add to the list.  I'll work around those, though.  I only hope I will be able to lift weights again at the gym soon.  I don't want to lose strength in that arm permanently.  My new goal is to be using my arm as if nothing ever happened by the end of the year.

10. Are you right- or left-handed?
I am right-handed.  My left hand is pretty useless.  Since breaking my arm, though, I hope to change that.  I am going to take advantage of this opportunity to really strengthen that side of my body since I have to be working during torture sessions anyway.

11. What does your voice sound like?
I have no idea.  You tell me.  I know I can't STAND my voice when I hear it on a recording.  It sounds squeeky and whiny, which doesn't match my personality at all.  Daniel likes to listen to me talk when I'm sick with a cold and get that husky voice.  

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? 
Seriously?  
Straight and silent (when my class is in a line)
I'm sure there are a few that I use often, but I really can't think of any right now.

13. What do you have in your pockets?
I am sitting in my pajamas right now, so I don't have pockets.  I generally don't stick too much in there, though, except for my cell phone.

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
Of course; we all do.  I pick at my fingernails, though I don't bite them so much anymore.  I fold my hands when I am nervous or don't have anything else to do with them.  I'm sure there are a bunch more, too.

Prompt: I Disagree

Prompt:  What's something a lot of people do that you disagree with?

For the most part I try not to judge people and their choices.  Sure, there are things that really bother me, but I really do attempt to keep my opinion to myself.  Well, okay.... I do discuss it with Daniel, too.  It does offer a good measurement of how I am conducting my own life, though.  The choices that I agree with encourage me to continue down the same path.  Those I disagree with lead me to reexamine what I am doing to be sure I am not making the same mistakes.

There is one thing that I absolutely CANNOT understand that I see a lot of people do- letting their kids their kids run wild in a grocery store, library, or other public place.  I know parenting is difficult.  I know that there are times when the kids have been cooped up, the parents have a lot on their minds, and their are a lot of other distractions.  The point of childhood, though, is to learn to be appropriate adults.

Teaching children concepts such as using an inside voice, saying excuse me when they run into someone, or walking rather than running seem to be uncommon.  I've noticed this inside the schools, too.  Children walk right past trash on the floor without even considering picking it up, push past each other without regard for the other person, and run through the halls like their hair is on fire, screaming at the top of their lungs.  Many teachers don't even stop to say anything anymore.  I am considered the strict teacher who will ask students to behave appropriately in the hallways.  I don't understand this and remind everyone who questions me that the school belongs to all of us.  Each of us has a right to a clean, safe environment, just as we do in public.

Prompt: It's All Mine

Prompt:  What is one thing no one can take away from you?

There is one thing that absolutely no one can take away from me.  It is all mine no matter what else happens in this lifetime.  That is my education.  In 1997 I graduated from Mesa Community College with an Associate's degree in Administration of Justice.  Although I was proud of the accomplishment, it didn't really have the effect my Bachelor's degree, thirteen years later, did.

When I returned to college at age 33 I was a wife, mother, and business owner.  For about a year I took classes part-time to get into the habit of being a student.  When I could no longer take courses at the community college level I realized that I had to take the plunge into adding full-time student to my list of hats I wore.  

Although my family was incredibly supportive, and we all had to make adjustments, the truth is that I was the only one in charge of getting to class, studying, and getting my homework done.  I made the commitment to getting straight A's, and I was the one who decided to take classes year-round so I could finish as quickly as possible and move on to building a career.  When I walked across the stage at my graduation, I knew this was one accomplishment that no one could ever take away.

Scared Stiff

Well, we've finally had one tantrum too many.  Every day is chaos in our home, never knowing when the screaming, yelling, and fighting will happen.  Today we had both had enough, and we decided to do something about it.

From before Daniel was diagnosed with bipolar, we wondered if Amber might have an issue.  There are times she is the sweetest girl on the block.  When she is angry, though..... watch out!  It seems lately the angry side is coming out more and more.  Not just angry, but a little "off."  It's sad, and it's scary.

So many of the arguments with Amber are child-versions of the arguments I had with Daniel over the years.  She doesn't remember us telling her to do something, she doesn't remember a conversation we had about something that occurred the day before, she won't help around the house... the list goes on.  I think I am overly frustrated because I've seen this same issues before and wasn't able to solve the problems then.  Daniel is frustrated, it seems, because Amber is just a bit too much like him.  Essentially we are saying the same thing.  We are both worried Amber has bipolar disorder.

Once we made the decision for Amber to be seen by a doctor, we knew we wanted her to be seen as soon as possible.  I know; it seems goofy to have waited so long only to be in a rush.  But now it's that silly waiting game that I don't do well with.  Just tell me what the problem is and how to fix it already!  The appointment is less than a week away; next Wednesday.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Prompt: More Time

Prompt:  What do you need to spend more time doing?

I need to spend more time playing with my girls.  That answer definitely did not take much time to come up with.  The last year has been packed with events that have forced us to just get by in life.  We are busy doing this or doing that, it seems like we don't slow down often enough.  My hope for the next year, now that things are starting to settle, is that we will be able to hang out more often doing activities we all enjoy.

Daniel and I actually spend a lot of time with the girls, but it is always task focused.  We're running Amber to karate or running errands together.  We are cooking dinner or working on homework and chores.  I want to play games, watch movies, and eat fun foods.  These are things we used to do before life got crazy.  I miss those boring routines we used to follow.

Part of that is simply that the girls are growing up.  They want more time away from the house, so they have a more condensed time frame to take care of their responsibilities.  Part of it is that Daniel and I are both working so there isn't a stay-at-home parent to pick up the bulk of the responsibility.  We all have to pitch in when we are together.  Part of it is that we follow a strict bedtime and sleeping schedule now, so there is no late-night cramming.  I wish we could add a few more hours to the day.  Then again, don't we all?