What Not to Read: Why Do Only White People Get Abducted by Aliens

Why Do Only White People Get Abducted by Aliens?: Teaching Lessons from the Bronx by Ilana Garon
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I give up on this book.  I wish I could give it less than one star.  I have absolutely NO respect for a teacher who would look the other way during an emergency drill when students tell her they are going to leave campus.  A teacher's job is to PROTECT students, not to let them run rampant.  This teacher is clearly too immature to be teaching high school.  She should have taken the clue when her students said she was being too lenient.  They were looking for support and guidance.  Am I being harsh on this teacher?  Absolutely, and justifiably so.  In my opinion, this is what is wrong with education today.  Our students, no matter the educational environment they are forced to learn in, deserve more from our teachers today.


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Why I Don't Limit Screen Time

Yep, I am a bad mom.  I've finally admitted it.  I am horribly negligent and indulgent.  I, *gasp,* don't limit my children's screen time!  Nope, not on the computer, not on the TV, not on the phones, not. at. all.

Every article I have read lately tells me that I am allowing my children to rot their brains, stunt their growth, and sprout appendages that resemble cell phones from their bodies.  I disagree.  As with anything, there is certainly the potential for all of those things to happen (with the possible exception of the appendages, but the jury is still out on that), but it is my job as a parent to teach my children how to handle themselves without setting such strict limits that it becomes just another way for the kids to break the rules.

I don't believe that computers, cell phones, and television are inherently evil.  In fact, all three mediums have been used in the last month to build relationships with my children.  What can be bad about that?

Photo credit

Case #1:  My husband and my 11-year-old daughter have been watching some documentaries about quantum physics.  It is not something I am interested in, but I have been enjoying their debates about what they have seen.  The most beautiful words.... "I'm not sure I agree.  Let me look into that more."  Then the two of them hit the computer and spend two hours researching various viewpoints of the experts on the subject.  This project then turned into my husband coaching Amber on how to form an intelligent argument and debate civilly with others.  It also turned into a writing assignment doing the same.  Oh, and to take it even farther, the two then compared and contrasted verbal vs. written arguments and researched official debate rules.  I'm so glad we stuck to only 60 minutes of combined screen time that day. (Dripping with sarcasm.)

Case #2:  My daughters have never been known to get along well.  But, there is one thing that is helping them to build a bond.  It is a silly little app called "Guess the Emoji."  These are picture clues, and the player is to guess what they represent.  Not only have the girls been playing together, but they have gotten Daniel and I into the game, too.  I'm terrible at it, so we all have a great laugh when I get one right before the rest of the family.  Daniel was so into the game that he came home from work the other day and immediately started playing with Amber.  They played for hours, laughing, talking, and listening to music while guessing these silly pictures.  Oh yeah, they somehow wound up doing research about World War II, sparked by one of the images.  We had a great history lesson that night to go along with our horseplay.

Case #3:  As is common with teenage girls and their moms, my 13-year-old and I have been having a bit of a rough time seeing eye-to-eye lately.  There is not much we talk about without getting into some kind of argument, and we are working on that part of our relationship.  There is one thing we can agree on, though.  We have found a couple of mind-numbing TV shows, which I seem to need after a day of teaching.  So, "Say Yes to the Dress" or "What Not to Wear" goes on the television, and Andrea and I watch together.  We get to start discussions that are not threatening.  I have found out what Andrea envisions for her future, both in marriage and career.  We talk about appropriateness of clothing and how people are acting on these shows.  It has truly opened conversation on a different level, probably because it is not personal to begin with.  From this jumping point we CAN talk about issues more embedded in our hearts.  If I get to spend two or three hours chatting with my daughter about silly clothing, I'm going for it.  It has definitely NOT been time wasted!

Too many times in today's society we see issues in absolutes. Screen time is terrible.  This is one idea that I just don't agree with.  On the flip side, I wouldn't say all screen time is wonderful, either.  This is where balance comes in.  I tend to treat my children like they can make wise decisions, and I believe they do.  Is every minute they spend in front of the screen inspired like the cases illustrated above?  No!  But, allowing for these interactions to occur naturally is well it to me.

Teaching Tools

I have come to the conclusion that I have a very unpopular opinion and a very different way of looking at things.  It all started over an article that is making its way around the teaching community.  The article, titled "What You See in Today's Public School Classroom Is a Mirage," is about how teachers are provided with very little material to make classrooms inviting.  It talks about the transformation from dull and drab to fabulous by teachers, all paying for the items out of their own pockets.

I will agree that teachers spend money out of their own pockets to make our classrooms unique and interesting.  I will even agree that teachers spend money on materials that are essential to learning.  My position, however, is that we don't HAVE to do these things.  To take that position even farther, I would venture to say that we SHOULDN'T do these things.

Let me start by saying that I work for an incredible district.  Curriculum needs are met in abundance.  I have everything I could possibly need to teach my students.  A district curriculum map is provided for us that tells us exactly what unit and lesson we should be teaching, and the materials are provided for those lessons.  I don't have to spend money on extra workbook or supplemental material.  Supplies such as staples and white-board markers are available, though we are asked to be conservative at times, especially regarding the use of copy paper.  I understand that I am in a position of being well cared for when it comes to having everything essential to teaching.

What I don't have, however, is everything I WANT.  I think this is where many teachers are missing the boat in the complaint department.  We do tend to spend a lot of money out of our own pockets, but when we look closely, I would guess that at least 75% of that money is on materials that make our rooms more appealing to US- not to help the students perform.  And, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. Heck, we spend more waking hours in that classroom than we do in our own homes during the school year. We should be comfortable and happy in our surroundings.  BUT, let's be honest about it rather than misleading the public on how terribly we are treated.

I learned a valuable lesson about want vs. need this past school year.  After a month of class time had gone past, my district experienced a 5% pay cut.  Everyone from the superintendent to the janitors were being cut due to.... well, that's a whole different story.  Anyway, this was a shock and a HUGE blow to my family's financial situation, especially since I had just signed up for our health insurance plan that was raised in price by $100 per paycheck.

On that day, I vowed to not spend another dime out of my own pocket for my classroom.  I simply couldn't afford it any longer.  I didn't love my students any less, I didn't want to see my students be successful any less, I didn't want my students to enjoy school and do fun activities any less.  I simply couldn't continue to provide for my classroom the way I had in the past.  So, I started to learn how to do activities differently and to ask for help where needed.

I was successful for the rest of the year and it turned out to be a great experience.  There were certain activities that I wanted to do with my students, that in the past I would have purchased the materials for. Instead, I sent out emails to families asking for donations for the supplies.  If I didn't get those supplies, I didn't do the activity.  I found something else that would teach the same concept in a different way.

My favorite part was how the decoration in my room changed.  No longer was I printing, using my own ink, colorful posters and learning aides. Instead, the students made the decorations.  One whole wall was dedicated to student work and writing samples. I called this my "Super Star" board and each student couldn't wait to see if their assignment had made it onto the board.  It INCREASED student effort!

I didn't have the cute posters of years past in order to keep track of student data, but I did have spreadsheets that showed the same thing.  I didn't have the perfect garden theme, but I used the colors that I enjoyed.  Family and friends gave me posters and supplies that were on my wish list for my birthday and for Christmas.  The bottom line:  Not using my own money didn't hurt my students a bit.  In fact, it made me more creative and a more out-of-the-box thinker.

The only way to change the expectation of teachers using their own funds to decorate classrooms is to stop giving in to it.  Dr. Phil is famous for saying that we teach people how to treat us.  In a large way, I agree that this is happening in the education field.  We, teachers, wanted more than what was provided to us, so we started out by giving a little.  It has turned in to an expectation, and I believe we can stop the cycle.

Scoliosis

It all started about a month ago when I got a phone call from the school nurse.  She said she was sending home a paper with Andrea (my 13-year-old) that I needed to take very seriously.  The nurse had just completed the normal 7th grade scoliosis screening, and she was seeing some VERY abnormal results.  She would like for us to schedule an appointment with our family doctor to have this checked out.

We got an appointment with our family doctor for the next week, and he said he would be very surprised if it was anything to worry about.  The look on his face when he did the exam told us he was more concerned than originally expected.  He gave us an order for a full-body x-ray and asked us to make the appointment as soon as possible.  Two days later, Andrea got an x-ray that showed from the base of her head to the top of her pelvis.

That week, we went to my brother's wedding, and we were going to call the doctor for the results when we returned on Monday.  The doctor didn't wait for our return, though.  He called us on Thursday evening to let us know that Andrea had severe scoliosis, and he wanted her to be seen by a spine specialist as soon as possible.  A week later, Andrea was being seen by a spine specialist who made the appointment very short. "This is not something I can handle; she needs to see a surgeon, and I would like her to see one sooner rather than later."

The spine specialist called and scheduled an appointment, and it was only two days away.  The surgeon confirmed that Andrea has a case of scoliosis that is severe, and it will continue to get worse at the rate of 1 degree per month until she stops growing, then it will progress at 1-3 degrees per year after that, if surgery is not done to repair the bend.  Andrea actually has three curves- one is 61 degrees, one is around 40 degrees, and the third is around 30 degrees.  Anything over 30 degrees is considered moderate, and anything over 40 degrees is considered severe.  At 70-90 degrees, depending on what research is being looked at, damage to the lungs and heart begins from the rubbing of the bone against the organs.  The surgeon said he would like to do the surgery sooner rather than later.  It was scheduled for the 19th of this month.

Now, however, we have hit a MAJOR snag!  After getting approval for the surgery from our insurance company, they called the surgeon and said they could not actually give approval.  We have a plan that doesn't cover that particular doctor or hospital, even though my husband was told everything was good, as was the doctor's office.  Someone at the insurance company had made a mistake, and they could not approve the surgery.  

We have spent hours today calling the insurance company and various surgeon's offices to find another surgeon.  We are running up against road blocks at every turn.  Everyone is SO frustrated and feeling so out of control.  

I just wish we could get a clear answer from the insurance company and cooperation from a surgeon.  It worked so smoothly with the original referral!  If we don't all keel over from exhaustion today, I will be amazed.  

Family

Man, do I have a good-looking family or what?  It's not too often that we get dressed up, so I definitely took advantage of all of us looking all spiffy for Fred and Lisa's wedding on May 17, 2014.

Amber- age 11

Andrea- age 13

My hubby and me- I sure hope somewhere along the line we got a picture of me with the rest of my shirt on.

Daniel playing around wearing Amber's sunglasses

Uncle Jack, Uncle Tim, and my dad

Mom and Aunt Judy

Mom and Dad

Pre-Wedding

My brother got married last weekend!  It was so amazing to be part of his celebration.  I can only thank my mom and dad for the airplane tickets for our entire family.  We wouldn't have been able to go, otherwise. This has been a crazy year, but Mom and Dad made it happen for us.  I am SO grateful.

The day before the wedding, my family, my mom and dad, and Fred, all went disc golfing.  Wow, is it a different experience in the woods as opposed to the desert!

 Fred, one day before becoming a married man!  

The one and ONLY time I have ever thrown farther than my brother.  I of, course, had to document the moment.  My disc is the pink one up near that tree.  Fred's is the blue one in the middle of the picture.

Hey, I wouldn't be the older sister if I didn't get to pick on my brother once in awhile.  We had a great time hanging out before the craziness of wedding day.  I didn't get to spend NEARLY enough time with Fred and Lisa and miss them already.

Wordless Wednesday May 21, 2014

Mother's Day 2014

Every year Daniel asks what I want for Mother's Day, and every year my answer is the same.  There is usually nothing that I am BURNING to have, so I ask him not to spend the money.  Then the day comes, and I wind up thinking that I want to do something to feel special and recognized.  Last year I got my Roku for Mother's Day, and that has definitely turned out to be an investment that was well worth the money.  We use it just about every day!

  Amazon.com

This year, as most others, I asked Daniel not to spend money on a gift for me, but we are doing some fun things that I enjoy.  We were planning to go to my mom and dad's house, anyway, so we altered the plans just a little to fit in a celebration that both my mom and I will enjoy.

The first thing we are doing is stopping at Papa Murphy's to get a couple of pizzas.  Daniel and I have been wanting to try their new pan pizza, so this will be a new experience for us.  We will be getting The Cowboy, a wonderful combination of "pepperoni, sausage, sliced mushrooms and black olives on traditional red sauce with our herb and cheese blend," because this is a family favorite on their regular crust, and a mushroom and onion on thin crust for my mom and I.  I'm going to be in pizza heaven!

After we bake the pizzas, we will sit down to enjoy the part of the day that was my gift to my mom.  She wanted to see Saving Mr. Banks, so I rented it from Red Box last night and stopped at Target to buy some popcorn that we both enjoy.  My mom and I agree that popcorn from Target's deli is ALMOST as good as movie theater popcorn, and it is much less expensive!

When the movie is over, we will go for a walk to a near-by park to feed the ducks, then go back to the house to play games.  Then we are having a dinner of chili and cornbread before heading home to get ready for our school/ work week.  It sounds like a fabulous day.  This is exactly what Mother's Day should be about- everyone enjoying some time together, and Mom getting to choose the activities.  I don't need any of the expensive jewelry being advertised on the radio.  I can buy WAY too many pizzas for that kind of money!

6th Grade Memories

At my school, we get six personal days per year.  If we don't take them, we do not get to roll them over to the next year, and we do not get to cash the days out..  What makes my district different than others I have heard about is that my district encourages teachers to use the days that are set aside.  They do not have black-out periods (outside of the obvious, state testing days) and they do not give teacher's grumpy faces for looking forward to the time off.

I do not feel comfortable taking my days off in the early part of the school year, as I am always fearful that I will get sick later and need to use the days so I don't get my regular pay docked.  So, as usual, I wound up having six personal days available at the end of April.  School gets out at the end of May.  I planned to use two days to attend my brother's wedding in mid-May, but outside of that I had no plans.  So.... I started to randomly schedule days off.  It turned out that I got to have a day off every week for the last several weeks of school.  I couldn't bear to schedule a day off in the last week, though, so I am going to wind up losing one.

On last Thursday I had one of my days off planned, but I knew I was going to do some work at home (grading and my curriculum team project), and that was okay.  What I had not planned for was one of the sweetest memories of this school year.  I really got to see how incredible this class really is.  I love their hearts and the way they have bonded.  They care about each other, and they are proud of our growth as a group.  I got a perfect snapshot of this during my day off.

I was sitting at my computer working, when I got an email that a student had passed a level of the on-line program we use for math facts.  I thought it would be fun to call the classroom and congratulate the student. When I called, my student receptionist (each student has a classroom job) answered the phone.  I think he was a little shocked to hear my voice when I told him who was calling.  That in itself was kind of fun.  I then told him to please tell the student who had just passed the math level congratulations.  I heard my receptionist pull the phone away from his mouth and make the announcement.

The class clapped and cheered, then the most awesome part happened.  I heard them bring themselves back to order and quietly start working again.  What an amazing gift from my class!  They did exactly as I would have expected if I was in the room.  Not only did they show their joy for the student who passed the math level, but they listened to the announcement from the receptionist, and got quiet with NO reminders of my expectations.  No wonder this class has been such a joy to work with this year.

I will definitely have to remember this moment, as it is not every day a teacher gets to see the fruit of her labors from an outside point of view.  Each day over the past week, I have been getting glimpses of how others see me as a teacher, and it has been eye-opening.  I can see why my cheerleaders have been so excited for me as I have walked this journey in teaching.  I really AM a good teacher who works hard and makes a difference!

Teacher Appreciation Week- From Students

I have to admit that I went into this Teacher Appreciation Week frustrated and not looking forward to seeing what all the "other" teachers would get.  It's not that I am begging for "stuff," but in a school, holidays can tend to look like popularity contests.  I've seen others walk out with bags and bags of gifts, while I've gotten a few small tokens.  It can really make a teacher wonder what she is doing wrong compared to the others.

Well, this year I guess I am one of "those teachers," the ones who leave everyday with a great big smile from how appreciated I really am.  I have said all year that this class has a special place in my heart, and I can tell that the way I feel about my class isn't one-sided.  I have gotten some REALLY cute tokens of appreciation this year.

The best part is that EVERY gift I have gotten shows that my students know my personality, or they are choosing something that reminds them of a lesson or a moment we shared.  I will have great memories of this class, and a couple of the gifts will truly give me years to enjoy.  I can't really pick a real favorite, but I do love the Mrs. Greenberg for my desk.

Here is some of the great "stuff" I have gotten this week:

Teacher Appreciation Week- From Administration

I had so much fun at work this week!  This was Teacher Appreciation Week, and administration went all-out to make it a great time.

On Monday, we were given a 7Up soda with a cute saying about what we do for students.

On Tuesday, we were given the "Gift of Time."  Either the principal or vice principal will come to our classroom and teach either a leadership lesson or read a book for 20 minutes while we take an extra break. The best part of this gift is that it can be saved for next year.  I don't feel like I have enough time with this class as we are getting ready to say goodbye, so I'll hold onto the coupon for one of those times next year when our next break just seems so far into the future.  We were also served lunch by the PSO.  It was delicious!

McDonald's was also celebrating Teacher Appreciation Day on Tuesday, so I stopped for my free breakfast on the way in.  Because I was one of the first 100 teachers (I was actually the first one), I also got a coupon for a later date for a free McCafe drink.  I'm going to save that for a time it's been "one of those days."

On Wednesday, we were served cookies and muffins, and we were treated to a 10 minute chair massage during our lunch.  Oh, that massage was great, but it showed me just how badly I need a FULL massage!  Maybe I'll get lucky and get one in my gift basket that administration is asking parents to put together.

Thursday, we were given a cute little jar of mints.  I also took a personal day off to relax.  I know... I just said I don't have enough time left with my students.  I also don't want to lose all of my days this year like I did last year, so I am taking some time for me.  Somehow I always wind up working from home, though.

On Friday, I came in to one last treat on my desk from administration.  It was a cute little nail polish with a card about polishing the skills of students.  I don't wear nail polish, but my girls will enjoy it!

This has been an amazing Teacher Appreciation Week.  I can honestly say that administration put a lot of thought and effort into making this week special for teachers.  There was a lot of time poured into putting together these gifts and thinking about making sure there was something for everyone.  This is just one of the many reasons that I am not ready to leave my school, either for a transfer or another job, even though I could find something much closer to home and for more pay.

Clothing

When I was in junior high and high school, I used to DREAM of having a sister to share things with.  I wanted to be able to have a perpetual sleep over, do makeovers, and share clothes with someone who lived just a door away.  As a grown-up with teenage daughters of my own, I bet my parents thanking the universe for NOT granting that request!

Ug, it is so stressful to have two girls who wear roughly the same size in clothes and shoes!  To make matters worse, they share a bedroom, which means they also share a closet.  WHOSE pants are these?  WHO does this pair of shorts belong to?  How do we tell?

It is a never ending battle in my house.  Forget the "she's touching me" argument of years past.  That was NOTHING compared to "She is wearing MY (fill in the blank)!"  "Make her take that off!  It's mine!"  I have to admit that I am pretty lucky that Daniel is the parent who is home when the girls are dressing in the morning.  I would have to cry regularly.

Well, we've only got five more years of this before Andrea heads to college and Amber gets to have the closet to herself for awhile.  We can make it.  We're strong people, and just as stubborn as our daughters!

Heaven in the Middle of the City

For years, I have had a favorite place that I call Heaven in the Middle of the City.  The real name is the Riparian Institute.  It is right off the main road, and right next to the county library, but once you get onto the trails, the city just fades away.

The Riparian Institute is a wildlife preserve, and there are several different ponds and trails to check out.  I have loved walking there since the girls were little.  In fact, we had a birthday party there one year.  I think Amber was turning 3, but I honestly can't remember for sure.

Every time we go to the Riparian Preserve we see something different.  Yesterday, I almost tripped over a turtle.  We think it was laying eggs, because she was burrowed into the ground with her hind end and looked miserable.  We also saw rabbits (tons of rabbits) and rats.  It was a super active time in the desert on a Saturday afternoon.

I did get to see my favorite bird, a heron, but I didn't get pictures.  It was too far away.  Maybe next time.

We got in almost two miles of walking, and that was enough for me.  My feet did hurt at one point, but we slowed down, and by the time we got to the trail where we could have headed for the car, I was ready to keep going on the longer trail.  It looks like two miles is about my limit right now.  It's much better than the 30 feet I was walking with the help of a walker at this time three years ago, though!

I Gave Up

The past couple weeks at school have been the most intense, frustrating weeks of the entire school year. First AIMS prep took up a lot of time and threw off our routine, then, of course, the AIMS testing itself was a HUGE week of craziness.  On Saturday of last week we had the school carnival, and I honestly thought that coming in on Monday would be a relief- back to business.  Oh, how that dream did NOT come true! My students were still very "off," and behavior was out of control.

Last night, there was a Crock-Pot Cook Off and community movie night at school, and I was supposed to stay for that.  I made a chili for the cook off, and had prepared to stay to watch "Frozen."  About 20 minutes before the event started, though, I just felt incredibly overwhelmed and really couldn't face the idea of putting on my happy teacher face for students who I quite honestly resented right at the moment. I hate to admit to having real feelings about my class, but hey, teachers are human, too.

Thank goodness my newest teammate is truly a team player.  She was also going to be staying for the event, so she offered to pick up my Crock Pot, take it home to wash it, and bring it back to me on Monday.  I literally cried at her kind offer.  The two of us took my dish over to the judging table, I explained to my administrators that I wasn't feeling well, and I went home.

The feeling of being overwhelmed crushed me last night, and I broke.  My vice principal did recognize this, and we talked in her office for a few minutes before I left.  The talk did a bit to help, and she took some responsibilities off my shoulders by distributing them more to my team.  I am thankful for that.  Somehow I just keep piling on more and more, and I can see the literal interpretation of the "straw that broke the camel's back."  It really is just one tiny addition that makes the load too heavy to carry.

I am so thankful this is a long weekend for us, and I have today to decompress.  I talked to my class at the end of the day yesterday, and we identified some reasons they think they are misbehaving and acting extremely uncharacteristically compared to what I have come to expect from them.  I asked students to reflect on how to get back into routine and to come to school with the motivation to finish the year strong.  I will be taking time to do the same myself.

School Carnival

Okay, I admit it.  I went to the school carnival grumbling the entire way.  It was a LONG week of state testing, and I REALLY didn't want to finish it with spending the day with more unstructured time with students.  However, I did wind up having a good time.

Each teacher has to have a booth at the carnival, and I was selling Smencils.  Smencils are smelly pencils that are made of recycled newsprint.  They are usually a hit at the book fairs, so I thought they would go well at the carnival as well.  The coolest part is that it didn't cost me ANYTHING to offer this product.

A couple of months ago, I entered the giveaway on the Facebook page for Educational Insights.  When they reached 50,000 fans, they were going to give away a gift certificate.  Frankly, I had forgotten about that when I got an email saying I was the winner.  I won a $500 gift certificate!

After buying all the cool posters and Hot Dots sets I could possibly want to include in my classroom, I requested that the rest of my order be filled with Smencils.  I think the lady taking my order thought I was nuts, but I explained that the Smencils were going to be my school carnival item.  $250 worth of pencils is a lot at one time.

Back to the day of the carnival.  My table was SO easy to set up this year.  I didn't do a game or anything. It was strictly a sales booth, and I included some of my dad's books on my table to go along with the pencils. Daniel, Amber, and I hauled out one table from my classroom, two student chairs, the pencils, and the books.  I was set up within five minutes!

The day started off pretty slowly, and I was afraid that my price of 4 tickets ($1) per pencil was too high, but I knew kids purchased these Smencils for more at the book fair, so I decided to give it one hour before dropping the price to 3 tickets.  I am so glad I stuck to my guns.  Once the kids started noticing what it was I was selling, we were pretty busy for the rest of the day!  In the end, I wound up earning $105 for my classroom.

Next to me, my fellow 6th grade teacher had a booth doing crazy hair.  One of her students running the booth BEGGED me to allow her to do my hair.  I finally gave in.  I kind of like how it turned out.

Another part of the day that turned out great was having Amber come to help.  She was there as back up, just in case, because I had NO parent volunteers signed up.  I was disappointed about that part, and it was a factor in my not going into the carnival very excited.  Our principal had given each student a wrist band for the inflatables and 20 tickets ($5), and it was one of the best gifts ever!  Amber ran off to play once we were set up, and outside of her coming to check in once in awhile, we didn't see her the rest of the day.  She had a blast!  There were the traditional bounce houses, but we also had laser tag, jousting, and slip-and-slide inflatables.  It really did keep Amber busy for the entire four-hour carnival.  She did use some of her tickets to get her face painted.  

I'm looking forward to next year's carnival now.  Another great decision that my principal had made was to move the music and entertainment to the inside stage.  It was AWESOME not to have the constant blaring sound.  In fact, the noise of the inflatable fans was the loudest I had to process.  That was REALLY helpful to make the day successful!  And....I have five boxes of Smencils left, so I am all set for next year.  

Pain, Pain Go Away

I think my body likes to give me reminders of where I have been and where I could be.  Seriously, I am well aware. I don't need any help.  Well, to be honest, maybe my body is right that I don't remember the intensity of what could be.  Just like child birth, this pain stuff is easy to minimize when looking back.

Yesterday, though, I got a very good reminder of just how sick I was three years ago.  When I went to bed Monday, I didn't really feel too great.  Tuesday, I woke up and I was pretty sure a train had run over me while I had been sleeping.  However, it was the first day of state testing, and there was NO way I could possibly call in sick to work.

By the time I got to work, I was in so much pain that tears would randomly jump into my eyes, and I was clenching my teeth.  It seriously felt like someone was taking a drill bit and boring into my bones.  This was not plain old muscle pain, and it really didn't feel like the nerve pain, this was something so incredibly deep and long-lasting that it wore me out.  It felt like my bones were not sturdy enough to hold my weight.

When I picked up my testing materials, my vice-principal (who is well aware of my medical history) asked if I was going to make it through the test.  I saw her peeking in through the window at me a couple of times in the morning.  When I dropped off my test, she asked if I needed to go home.  Frankly, I wasn't going to feel any better at home than I would sitting at my desk at school, so I didn't take her up on her offer.

Usually I stay at work about an hour after contract hours state I have to stay, but yesterday I hopped in my car pretty quickly after I could go.  I came home, sat on the couch, and stayed there until I went to bed at 7:00.  I think the thing that really struck me was that I have built a really excellent quality of life since the months following my hospitalization experience.  For several months after getting sick, leaving the couch was an accomplishment.

This morning I woke up, earlier than I was hoping due to someone's cell phone making noise, in significantly less pain.  I am still feeling pretty weak and definitely not "normal," but so far I think I will be okay today.  I am already ready for a nap, though, so that's not the best sign, but my morning coffee on the way to work should do the trick.

Stepping Back to Move Forward

A couple of weeks ago I talked about taking a step backwards sometimes, and how that is a good thing, not necessarily a bad thing.  Well, we have taken another step back in time that seems to be working out very well.  This time, Daniel has gone back to running his own business.

In November of 2012, Daniel partnered up with a friend of his, and the two started running their businesses together.  It was working well for them, so they decided to merge the two professions and do business together under one business name.  This was made official in January, 2013.  The business did okay, though not great, for the year the two worked together.  Daniel was in charge of landscape maintenance and his partner was supposed to be bringing in work on the building maintenance side of the business.

Well, to make a long story short, the partnership started to slide when Daniel noticed that the landscape was being neglected for the building maintenance side of the business, yet the building maintenance wasn't bringing in enough money for both families to survive.  A disagreement between the two partners in how to run the business ultimately led to the partnership being dissolved at the beginning of this month.

Daniel immediately picked up where he had left off in November, 2012.  Fortunately he had maintained a percentage of customers from when he was on his own.  It's enough to keep our head above water until business picks up again.  He applied to register the business under the old name- Yard Maintenance Solutions, and he sat down and came up with a business plan to get back to where he was before entering into the partnership.

I am so proud of the progress he has made in a couple short weeks!  Daniel has already picked up one or two maintenance customers, and he has done two clean-ups on properties from where we have hung flyers. He has another clean-up scheduled for this week.  As a family, we have been hanging flyers every Saturday morning, and Daniel has been out drumming up business on days he doesn't have other work.

Stepping back has given us a new hope for the future.  I am already seeing a difference in the way money is coming in and how we are able to budget.  I think this year is going to be great.  Daniel will tell you he doesn't regret the partnership one bit, and I can see why.  He really has learned a lot of valuable lessons.  I'm just glad that by stepping back we are able to move forward.  It's strange how that works.

Dressing Up

I am definitely pretty easy to please.  On Friday, we got to wear jeans with our school polo shirts to school. In an effort to boost morale, our school has designated the last Friday of every month as jeans day.  I have to admit, those jeans days sure are something to look forward to.  It seemed like all of the teachers had an extra bounce in their step throughout the day.

Our district policy actually states that polo shirts are against every-day dress code for teachers as well. Apparently polo shirts are not dressy enough.  On Friday, as I was leaving a meeting with our principal, I mentioned that it would be really nice to be able to wear our school polo shirts on a regular basis since we had to pay to get a shirt.  I was quick to mention that I didn't want her to extend the number of days we could wear jeans, but to take advantage of our shirts that we purchased.

Oh.... sometimes it is SO worth it to stick your neck out and take a chance!  My principal actually said she saw no reason why I couldn't wear a school polo EVERY day if I wanted to, as long as the bottom of my outfit was still appropriate.  WHOOOO HOOOO!  That will make dressing so much easier, and honestly a school polo can be worn with khaki pants, slacks, skirts, or capri pants and still look pretty good.  

So, without spending an extra dime, I have just added another comfortable shirt to my wardrobe.  Right now I only have one polo shirt, and it is red.  School colors are red, white, and blue, and polo shirts are made in all three colors.  I won't get the white, as I just don't care for white tops.  Now I just have to decide if I am going to order a polo shirt in blue or just ride out the rest of this school year and buy a shirt to start next year. We only have nine weeks to go!

A Month, For Real?

Where does time go?  Ug, life always gets so hectic right before a school break.  This was a biggie, too.  On top of getting report cards ready, gearing up to start Curriculum Committee commitments, and making decisions about the girls, I was also deciding what I want to do for next year.  Yes, it is ALREADY contract-signing season.  HOW are we 3/4 through the school year already?  I am officially heading into the end of my third year of teaching.  So, what has been going on this past month?  The real question should be what HASN'T been happening.

So, let's start with the girls and school.  Both girls were BEGGING to return to their old schools, and for many reasons that I won't get into now, it wasn't working to have them in school with me.  So, we made a decision to have the girls return to their neighborhood schools.  It may not be the ideal situation, but it is the one that works for us.  And, the only thing I can say is that they will have an opportunity to build character in a different way than if they were at my school.  Sometimes what looks like the perfect solution turns out to not be as beautiful as it seemed, and we just need to be honest enough to take a step backward.

On to commitments I've made for the rest of this school year and for next.  I signed a contract to come back to my school district for next year, and I have a verbal agreement from my principal that I will be coming right back to my classroom, teaching 6th grade.  I am thrilled with that decision, after finding out some very interesting information and having a heart-to-heart talk with my principal.  I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to return to my campus, partly because the hour-long drive each way is starting to get to me.  But, I see potential for doing some great things next school year where I am.  Load me up with audio books!

Next year will be my fourth year teaching 6th grade.  I have reached a milestone in some circles.  I am no longer considered a new teacher.  My own style is really starting to come out, and for many this is the year they decide whether they are going to stay in the teaching profession or not.  I can definitely see how this third year is a marking point.  The negative parts of teaching start to wear on someone, as the total excitement of being a new teacher is starting to wear off.  After shaking off some bad attitude vibes earlier this year, I have renewed my passion for teaching.  I will definitely make it to the next milestone- year five. Statistics say that 1/3 of all teachers leave the profession at the end of that year.  Eeekk!  I sure hope I didn't spend the money I did in student loans for only five years of service.

I am once again on the curriculum committee for my district.  I have actually spent the entire spring break working, but that's because I wanted to be ahead and hopefully leave myself some time at the end of the project to relax and not stress about getting done on time.  Typical me, in other words.  Don't worry; I've also taken some time to relax and spend time with family and friends.  I've had some GREAT meals at my mom and dad's house, and a couple of WONDERFUL evenings with Dan and Mira.  I've gotten to spend time with the girls, just sitting around watching TV, and I even got to spend some time alone with Daniel on a couple days.  All-in-all, spring break has been perfect.  I am definitely charged up to get back into the classroom and finish this year strong.

Well, this has been my last month in a nutshell.  I will really try not to be away for so long next time.

Escape

I usually really love and agree with this quote.  This past few weeks, though, have been eye-opening.  You know, there really are times when we want to escape the situations in our lives.

Things are finally starting to settle down a bit, but the last month has been extremely high-stress.  Between frustration and situations with children, work, bills, a new car (which means a car payment for the first time in five years), and life with a family, it seems I haven't had a moment to calm down.  Every morning I was waking up imagining all the things I had to accomplish that day, and each evening was spent putting out fires until I was just plain exhausted crawling into bed.

That might explain why this weekend I spent more time in bed than I would have imagined I would ever do, outside of being sick.  I actually slept about 10 hours Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, AND I took a nap on Saturday and Sunday during the day.  My body is clearly wiped out.  Thank goodness Monday was Presidents' Day and I got an extra day to relax.  I finally caught up on grading, something that I haven't been able to say in about three weeks.  A teacher's work is never done, but not being caught up on grading was seriously stressing me out.

So, that's what I would like to escape.  I would like to just forget that I really hate my living situation right now, because there is nothing to do but make the best of it.  I would like some of the stress to be relieved, which I believe will happen with both girls being enrolled at my school as of this week.  I would just like to have some time for ME, which seems to be more difficult to capture lately, though my idea of leaving work by 4 PM daily should help.

But, how DO I escape?  My favorite ways are to play on the computer (Facebook, blogging, reading blogs, Pinterest) and reading.  I would love to be able to have some silent time in the day.  I used to get up earlier than everyone else and get that time in, but I have miraculously been sleeping until the alarm clock.  What a Catch-22!  I don't get silent time on the ride to and from work, either, with the girls in the car.  So, I need to find a way to make this happen.  Maybe on the weekends I can start going to the library or the park for an hour or so.  

I'm pretty easy to please.  I don't really want to go very far to escape; just into my own mind for awhile.  I want to focus on things that make ME happy, things that I enjoy.  This school year has definitely been all about adjusting and learning how to be true to me.  This next month or so will just be another one of those times.  How to get three girls out the door by 6 AM, dressed and ready for school.  Packing three lunches and making three breakfast plates.  How to get homework done when the girls haven't been used to homework in the neighborhood school, and how to adjust to new bedtime routines.  

The good news is Spring Break is only three weeks away.  What?!!  Three weeks?  That means it is crunch time for grades and projects to be done at school.  Grrrrr..... that's a whole different story.

Joining in to put my spin on it

School Choice

All I can say about my living situation right now is, thank goodness for school choice.  Arizona has more charter schools than a lot of areas of the country, and I am thankful that I can take advantage of that.  Arizona is also one of the lowest ranking states in education.  I have to wonder if that is why there are so many charter schools.  Parents are just fed up with substandard education and environments that are not safe for their children.

Amber enrolled at my school a few weeks ago.  We've seen some positive changes in her already.  For her, the fact that I have more control is helpful.  She just isn't ready to monitor herself and her interactions with others without a lot of supervision.  Her classroom is now right across the hall from mine, and I am friends with her teacher.  She can't get away with much there.  Nevertheless, the bottom line is that she is no longer being called names like "slut" in her 5th grade classroom.  She doesn't watch kids threaten each other on the way home from school and wind up getting herself in trouble for defending the kid being picked on.

Yep, Amber needs to be saved from her own sense of injustice in the world.  She has to realize she is not Superwoman, out to make all things right.  Sadly, this is a lesson we had to teach her this year, as she was spending way too much time with the principal at our neighborhood school.  Every teacher on campus will tell you that Amber is pleasant and enjoyable to have in class.  She works hard and won a few academic awards in the time she spent at the school.  BUT, when left to her own devices to run the neighborhood, she just can't seem to mind her own business and won't back down from an argument, especially if she is right.

Now, it is true that I have spent the girls' entire lives telling them they are just as bad as the bully if they don't speak up.  I tell my students the same thing.  No more.  I can see why people don't get involved.  In the end, bullying becomes a "he said, she said" game.  Unless there is physical injury to one participant or the other, no one really knows who did or said what.  It is entirely too frustrating, and the schools wind up punishing the person who was trying to do something good, because in the end, they don't know that person was doing good.  My new advice to Amber is to just stay away from people and drama.  It makes me sick, but I'm really trying to lower the stress in our household before I explode.

Andrea, on the other hand, has learned how to blend in to her surroundings in order to stay away from the bullies.  Unfortunately, she started picking up the language, attitude, and habits of those around her.  We started seeing her grades fall, and she was more than just a typically disrespectful teenager.  After talking with her several times about her behavior, Andrea asked to be transferred to my school as well.

I am so excited that Andrea was able to see my school for the positive environment it can be.  I am more thrilled that Andrea was able to see that she was changing, being around the type of people who attend the neighborhood junior high.  It takes a lot of courage and self-reflection to see that influences are not positive.

As of Tuesday, I will have both of my daughters at my school.  One will be right across the hall, and the other will be taking the shuttle bus to another campus.  Both will be riding to and from work with me, giving me more time to spend with them and chat about their days and their lives.  I've missed connecting with them as they each go their separate ways after school and I'm working too much.  I can also provide a bit of tutoring and coaching since my classroom is set up for many different math and reading programs on-line. They can't complain they don't have time!

We can't change our living conditions for the moment, but I sure can have a bit more control over the types of people my daughters hang around with.  We are, after all, a product of the people we spend the most time with.  I want my girls to have good influences.  Is my school perfect?  That would be a for sure NO!  But, it is a step in the right direction, especially when there is no such thing as a perfect learning environment.  I'm looking forward to a lot less stress starting this week.

I Tried, I Really, Really Tried

Bottom line:  I live around a bunch of thugs.

It is no secret that when Daniel and I found out we were moving in September, I was less than thrilled.  I was quite upset, actually.  We were going to move out of the three bedroom, 2 bath, 1300-square foot house we were renting from Daniel's family into our 2 bedroom, one bath, 900-square too townhouse.  I was, however, determined to make the best of it.  I went into this move with a positive attitude.  I tried, I really, really tried.

We were asked to move from the house we were renting because we could not afford to pay full market value for rent.  The original agreement allowed us to pay a price that was comfortable for us and left some room for us to build our financial state.  I understand that family members need to make money, too.  I don't completely fault them for wanting more from us.  Ironically, the house we were renting is still sitting vacant a full four months later.  Apparently there are not too many people in this economy who are willing and able to pay full market price to live in that home.

The house is in a great part of town.  The schools are fantastic academically, and there are six different playgrounds within walking distance.  There is relatively little crime, and it was quiet.  I felt secure.  I felt like I was a productive, respectable part of society.

The townhouse, on the other hand, offers none of what made me feel good about myself.  We are cramped, for one.  Sharing a bathroom with a preteen and a teenage daughter is excruciating!  It seems that girls need a suitcase worth of product in the morning.  I am seriously considering getting them each a caddie that they can store under their bed or something.  My husband and I can't both be in the kitchen without falling over each other, and the girls sharing a bedroom with their differing schedules causes someone to always be upset about something.  Even watching TV in the living room feels like I am trapped in a box.  There is literally nowhere to go in this place to get away from each other.

Size of the townhouse put aside, I had really hoped that this neighborhood wouldn't be as run-down as it looks.  It is in an older part of town and definitely looks it.  Outside of the complex, the buildings need paint, the roads need work, and the bars on the windows should tell you something.  WHY does lower income have to equate to lower standards?

Finally, the people I am surrounded by are just plain disgusting.  I CANNOT understand why it seems that low income has to equate to low class.  I am trying my best to continue to live a life I am proud of, but it seems that everywhere I look a conflicting message is being sent to my daughters.  We may not have a lot right now, but we should still hold our heads high and be proud of the people we are!  I definitely don't see that as the lesson when I look around.

The kids run around the neighborhood doing whatever they want to do.  When we confront the parents, there is always some type of excuse or justification, or just plain denial.  Nope, their precious child couldn't POSSIBLY be doing anything wrong.  They know that because they keep close tabs on their child.  Where is he now?  Well, I don't know.... he's not answering his cell phone.  Forget the photo evidence we have. That had to have been misunderstood.  My children are far from perfect, but they will be held accountable for their actions and will (hopefully) learn from the consequences and make better choices in the future.

I could go on and on about the frustrations of this neighborhood, but all that does is make me even more upset.  The bottom line is that I tried to have a positive attitude.  I really, really tried to say that the area where we live is not so bad.  We are in charge of how we perceive ourselves.  Honestly, though, that is something people say to make themselves feel better when they are in a crappy situation.  For someone who hasn't experienced it, it's easy to say because they don't understand the desperation of just wanting a calm, positive environment, and a desperate feeling this is.

We will not be here forever.  I am determined to make that a fact.  Until the day we can move away from here, I will make the best of it.  Maybe the lesson here is that sometimes you just need a good kick in the pants in order to move forward.  I don't want to be equated with the low-lives that live around me.  That is enough of a kick in the pants for me.