Ten Years Later

I think we all remember where we were when we heard about the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001. I also realize that every blogger and reporter is talking about this issue. The only way I know how to process my feelings, though, is to write.

The thing is, I honestly didn't think I HAD feelings about 9-11 and its ten-year anniversary this year. Yes, it was the worst event in United States history in my lifetime, but I have felt somewhat detached in previous years. I know what makes this one different. Children. My own daughters are now old enough to understand what we are talking about. I also have 70 students that ask questions and deserve answers.

Funny, when I went to school to become a teacher I couldn't decide between Social Studies and English as my main content area. I chose English because I had more credits there and I could share my love of creative writing in the classroom. I got a job, however, as a Social Studies teacher. It's amazing how this world works.

Being surrounded by all these innocent young people has brought out a part of me that has been hidden. I do, in fact, have emotions when thinking back on where I was the day of the attacks. Daniel called me from work, first asking me where the children were. Our foster son was 4 years old, and Andrea was just 9 months old. Daniel told me to turn on the TV and verify what he had just heard on the radio. With my baby in my arms I tuned in just on time to watch an airplane fly into the second of the Twin Towers.

What I remember most about that day was how quiet the world around us was. No airplanes were flying, and it seemed like even the neighborhood dogs knew better than to disturb the night air as the sun went down. We were worried about Daniel's dad, who was supposed to be flying home from New York that morning. We hadn't yet heard from him. My mother-in-law was so calm it was almost disturbing. Whatever happened, she reasoned, was in God's hands. To have her faith at that moment would have been comforting, I can imagine.

Where was I "when the world stopped turning?" I was TRYING to raise a family, being a young wife and mother, trying to make sense of a world that just didn't. I was attempting to be everything to everybody, to show no fear, and to move on, much the way that many young Americans were. I was clinging to my husband as we had both of our children piled in our full-sized bed. Truly letting go that night was just not a possibility. It was hard to sleep. The next morning, waking up, I hoped it was all a terrible nightmare. Unfortunately, we would go to sleep that night after another silent day, still not having word about Daniel's dad. We eventually heard from him on Day 3. He had crammed into a compact car with three other business men traveling toward the west coast. As each man was dropped at his destination the other men said their good-byes. I wonder if those men are still in contact today.

Everyone became more patriotic in the weeks and months following the attacks. People seemed to be more kind to each other. I wish we could remember THAT feeling. As I look at society today I wonder how we got to be so selfish and rude. We don't hold doors open for each other anymore, and we don't greet each other with a smile. We did in the days after the attacks. We were connected. For a brief time Americans remembered that we all have something in common.

I was blessed this week to attend a ceremony at the school I teach in that was to honor the day. It's a small school with about 140 students. But, like any group of children they CAN be loud and active. The most powerful part of the ceremony, I thought, was the moment of silence. For exactly one minute 140 children were completely without noise. They didn't whisper, they didn't shuffle papers or make bodily sounds. They simple sat, many with their heads bowed, and respected the moment. Eerily, it reminded me of those first couple of days when the air was so still around us and the skies silent.

Of course, no 9-11 tribute would be complete without saying something about our brave men and women who are fighting in the wars that have been waged since the attacks. I won't get into whether the war is right or wrong, as there are so many different opinions. To be frank, I'm not even exactly sure how I feel about the wars anymore. What I DO know is that I appreciate our soldiers and the job they do. I couldn't imagine this world without the firefighters and police officers that keep us safe. I wouldn't even WANT to imagine this country without the freedoms we have. Thank you to all who have served.