Allergies Part II

So, I'm basically allergic to the whole outside.  Seriously.  My biggest reaction to yesterday's testing was rye grass, but there were many trees and weeds/ bushes, too.  Thursday I'll go back to find out what the treatment plan is going to be.  I'm hoping this is going to give me the answers I'm looking for as to why I constantly feel sick.  At this point I'm ready to just find out how to get better.

Who Are You? Part 7 (Part 2)

Ha, this is part 2 for ME, but this was originally written as Part 7 on Sunday Stealing.  See Part 1 for more answers in this series.

94. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?
I hate this question every time I see it.  I have NO clue, and I kind of like that about life.  Four years ago I couldn't have told you I would be here doing exactly what I am doing.  I like that life is unpredictable.  What I DO know is that my oldest daughter will be getting ready to learn to drive and my youngest daughter will be getting ready to enter high school.  CRAZY!

95. If you could choose, how would you want to leave this world?
I don't think I have a preference, and I really don't want to get to make that decision.  No matter how I go, I hope it is painless for me and does not cause my family trauma.

96. If you had only one week to live, what three things would be bumped up on the bucket list?
I don't have a bucket list.  I have really done everything that I want to.  I guess I would visit Sea World and the San Diego Zoo.  Even that, though, would depend on where my family was financially.  If that trip would leave them hurting for money, I would just stay home and enjoy our time together.

97. What is one thing about you that really stands out?
Nothing really stands out about me, and I like it that way.  I like that I can blend into the background when needed, especially in crowds.

98. What three words best describe your personality?
Generous, honest, friendly.

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
Blunt, kind, giving.

100. What advice do you have to give?
Live life YOUR way.  Only you know where you have been and where you want to go.

Emotional Distance

Prompt:  What do you need to emotionally distance yourself from?

I've got a strange situation happening at work, and I find myself easily pulled into the drama.  I don't want to be a part of the problem, but I also don't want to turn my back on a person who could use a friend.  I'm trying to find that balance between caring about the situation and not letting myself get involved to the point where I am too entangled.  Argh!  It's frustrating.

Allergies

For years I have jokingly told my husband that I am allergic to him.  This week we found out that, in a roundabout way, that is true.  Poor Daniel!  I felt so bad after my appointment with the allergist.

After giving up on trying to figure out what is wrong with me, my family doctor said that I should see an allergist.  That doctor, he said, can also look for autoimmune disorders and know more about where to go next.  Not thinking it would do any good, but willing to try just about anything at this point, I made an appointment with an allergist.  Thank goodness for really good insurance!  I never would have been able to afford this visit if we were paying cash.

The allergist spent over an hour just going over my history and symptoms.  At first, he said he could have written my book for me.  Then he hit the part where I got "shingles" two years ago.  That was the part that started to not make sense to him.  Fortunately this doctor seems to enjoy a puzzle and said that he has lots of homework to do.

Then it was time for the exam.  The doctor verified that I have four distinct rashes on my body.  That, too, was confusing to him, and he agreed that we need to find the cause not just treat the rashes.  Especially since there doesn't seem to be anything that works effectively for all the rashes.  When one starts to go away another gets worse.  It seems to be never ending.  Again, he said he wanted to do some homework and do some allergy testing before he began treating the symptoms.  He REALLY seems to want to understand what is going on with my body.  I haven't felt this hopeful in years.  We FINALLY might get some answers.  If nothing else, this guy doesn't think I'm nuts.  I was beginning to wonder myself.

The appointment had time scheduled in for one round of allergy testing, and the doctor decided to throw in ten ten foods to check as well.  Forty different allergens were scratched into my skin, then we waited fifteen minutes to see if there were reactions.  Boy were there reactions!

I had severe reactions to Bermuda grass, Mesquite trees, and cats.  Well, guess what my landscaping husband plays in all day?  You guessed it, grass and trees!  Those are the most common varieties in Arizona, which is why I was tested for those to begin with, and there is no question my body reacts.  So, I'm allergic to my husband when he comes home from work.

From now on Daniel will be putting his clothes directly into the washing machine and showering before he does anything else.  No kissing me, no sitting down for a glass of water.... straight to the shower!  He has already moved his landscaping equipment from our garage to a place where it won't be bringing debris into the house.

Out of the ten foods tested, I reacted to three of them.  There was enough of a reaction that the doctor said to start cutting out tomato, onion, and orange.  In fact, he said that I should just skip all the citrus fruits.  Ug!  He's tested for more foods next week, too.

Even the doctor was surprised at how many reactions I had.  There were some sensitivities, too, but he said we aren't going to worry about those for now since there were so many bigger issues.  I don't have a treatment plan yet.  We'll finish the allergy testing, the doctor will compile and analyze the data, then I will have a third appointment to decide what we are going to do.  No matter what, I see some big lifestyle changes coming my way!

Who Are You- Part 7 (Part 1)

I have not participated in all of Sunday Stealing's Who Are You meme for each of the parts, but I thought it would be fun to include this one.

Who Are you?  Part 7

Part 7: Self Image

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you:

I generally wake up between 4 and 5 a.m.  On a weekend I might sleep until 6, but that is unusual.  On work days I check my email and wake up a bit, then get in the shower and leave by 6:15.  I might leave work at 4 p.m. if I'm lucky, but most days I stay until 5 or later.  If I have a physical therapy appointment I stop there for an hour before heading home.  I eat dinner, sometimes watch a T.V. show on Hulu, and get in bed around 8 p.m.  I'm usually asleep by about 8:30.  The next day I start again.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?
I have been told recently that what my coworkers like about me is that I stick to my guns.  I have strong convictions, and I believe in myself and the job I am doing.  If I make a decision I will stick to it, though not with such stubbornness that I can't see if I've made a mistake.  I am proud of this fact.  Many people are somewhat taken aback by my approach to life and my job, but I think that shows a confidence in myself and my choices that I am not ashamed of.

86. What is your greatest weakness?
I think my greatest weakness is that I take criticism to heart too much.  If someone points out an area where I am not perfect, I get upset easily.  That is proof of my perfectionist nature.  I want to do everything I do without error.  If I am accused of not being a great teacher, especially, I am heartbroken.  I will spend days trying to figure out what I did wrong and how I can fix things.

87. Are you going to run for President in 2016?
Heck no!  That is one job I would DEFINITELY NOT want to have.

88. Are you generally self-contained?
I wasn't quite sure what this meant, so I turned to the trusty internet for information.  I found this definition on YourDictionary.com:  Self contained refers to something or someone that is complete on its own and that doesn't need anything else. (adjective).  I also found this example:  An example of self contained is a person totally content with his own company and not needy for the love, company or support of others.  Using this definition and example, I am definitely NOT self-contained.  I don't know what I would do without my husband, children, and family.  I need them more than they know.  They are my motivation on the days I just wonder how I'm going to make it through to the next.

89. Are you generally organized or messy?
That's a good question.  I am organized chaos.  My bedroom and desk are proof of that.  I have piles everywhere. I know what is in each pile, and I know how to find what I am looking for.  Other people, though, just see a mess.

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
Things I am good at include writing interesting lesson plans, presenting lessons, and being a wife who supports her husband to the best of her ability.  Things I am not good at include frisbee golf (I'll get there!), being an excellent homemaker, and being fake with people.

91. Do you like your neighbors? Do they like you?
I don't really know my neighbors.  When we moved into this house we decided we were going to keep to ourselves due to our experiences in our last community.  The only neighbors we do know do like us, but they are the parents of our good friends, so that's not a surprise.

92. Are you different in public then you act among friends?
Oh yes!  In public I tend to put on my "teacher face."  I make sure not to cuss and not to share too much of my life and views.  With my friends, though, I let it all loose.  

93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?
I have accomplished all the goals I can think of for now.  I have a successful marriage, children who are growing up to be wonderful people, and I have a career I can be proud of.

It's All About K

I saw these questions at Patrick's Place and thought I would play along.  As always, I'm late on the posting, but it's all in fun anyway.

1. K is for KAKISTOCRACY: Which president would you rate as the worst in history?  I honestly don't think I am qualified to answer this question.  I don't know enough about history and/ or politics to say, really.  As for presidents that I remember, I can think of positive and negative points in each of them.  

2. K is for KARAOKE: If you had to sing a song in a Karaoke tournament, which song would you choose?  There are a couple of songs I sing EVERY time I go to karaoke.  "God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood and "Grandpa" by the Judds.  

3. K is for KETCHUP: Which condiment do you use the most?  I think I would have to say mayonnaise here.  I don't use many condiments, really.  Oh, maybe ranch salad dressing.  I like that, too.

4. K is for KEY: What does the oldest key you own open?  Probably my oldest key is to my parents' house.  They have lived in the same place for more than 25 years. 

5. K is for KITCHEN: What would you most like to change about your kitchen?  I like my kitchen pretty well.  The one and only change I would make is to have a bigger pantry that is not oddly shaped.

6. K is for KNOWLEDGE: Which single school subject has served you the best in your adult life? I think all of my school subjects have been important in some way.  Reading is probably the one that has served me the most.  Comprehension skills can be applied to any subject.  

Prompt: Fear of Failure

Question:  What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?

I can't really think of a time fear of failure has stopped me from doing what I really want to.  The reality of my limitations has caused me to look realistically at something I had hoped to do, though.  The bottom line is that if I wanted something badly enough I went after it.  I have to say that I haven't failed that I can think of either.  I wanted to be a wife and mother.  I have been for twelve years now.  I wanted to be a teacher.  That dream was fulfilled, though it took me awhile to get there.  I hope that drive doesn't change for me as life starts to get a little more rough.  I think this is a pretty positive quality I possess.

Favorite Sounds

Here are some of my favorite sounds:


1.  Trains:  I LOVE the sound of a train rolling down the track, and hearing the whistle blow is peaceful to me.  For the past eight years I have lived near enough to a train track that I can hear my favorite sound often.  When I was about 10 years old, we lived so close to a train track that I swear I could feel the house shake when the train came through.  I fell asleep to that sound many times.  It never annoyed me or kept me awake.  I sometimes wonder if it is that memory that makes the sound of a train so enjoyable to me.


2.  Thunderstorms:  Around the same time I came to love train sounds, I can remember being TERRIFIED of thunderstorms.  Somehow, though, I have come to love that noise, too.  I'm thinking I started enjoying thunderstorms after Daniel and I got together.  He LOVES any weather that is different than our standard sunny and warm in Arizona.  I'm not afraid of thunder any more.  I still don't like driving in a storm or being out and about in the rain, but if I can sit in my living room with a cup of hot tea.... THAT is relaxing!


3.  Birds:  Many people get annoyed with birds waking them in the morning.  Since I'm up before the birds on most days, though, it works for me.  I love waking up in the silence and listening to the world wake up around me.  Even when I wasn't up quite so early, I still enjoyed waking up and hearing the birds sing.  My favorite bird is the one who learned the sound of my alarm clock.  This crazy bird will sit outside our window and make the alarm sound over and over again.  It's hilarious!  I've even gotten off the couch and gone to turn off the "alarm," thinking I had accidentally left it on when I got out of bed before the time it would have gone off.  I haven't heard from that bird lately, but I'm thinking that's because I haven't used an alarm in close to a year now.

Expelled

Last Friday I sat in on a meeting that was heart-breaking.  Even worse, I didn't just sit in on the meeting, I was an active participant.  Had this been a courtroom instead of a principals office, I would have been the prosecutor.  The evidence I presented determined the fate of a 12-year-old boy and his future with our school.

This young man, who for the sake of privacy I will call Boy, has had poor academic achievement since the first week of school.  He has chosen not to turn in homework over and over again, and he does not apply himself at all.  I have had several meetings with the parents asking for help, and as early as first-quarter conferences I told them I would not recommend Boy move on to the next grade.  He did not have the skills to be successful and would continue to fall farther and farther behind.

When my attempts didn't work and Boy did not come to the tutoring sessions offered, I involved our principal.  I showed him the records of missing assignments and failing grades, I showed him tests with grades of 0 and 13%, I showed him my communication record indicating my desire to help Boy.  In November our principal asked me to keep him informed and let him know if anything changed as we headed for the end of the semester in December.

Of course, nothing changed.  By this time, I was getting so frustrated I could pull my hair out.  How could I help a child who wouldn't help himself?  And yet, when I went into the teaching profession I had promised I would never give up on a child.

When we returned to school in January, after the long winter break, I started the second semester with renewed enthusiasm and hope.  I could tell that many of my students shared my excitement over the fresh start and were as committed as I was to making the second quarter memorable.  Boy, however, sat like a bump on a log.  He never did turn in his goals for the new year, an assignment I had given in Leadership class that would be the basis of leadership discussions for the rest of the term.  Even at the new year, he had no spark, no drive.

With this missing assignment being the first I had given for the quarter, and not wanting to continue down this path of academic apathy, I went immediately to my principal.  He agreed that we needed to take action.  We scheduled an appointment with Boys' parents.  It took them two weeks to be able to come in to meet, even though they knew we were interested in discussing Boy's progress.  Maybe they were dragging their feet because they knew what was to come.  I don't know.  If the principal wanted to talk to me about my daughters, though, I would be beating down the door to have that discussion immediately.  You can't meet at 4 p.m.?  Great, I'll be there at 4 a.m. tomorrow!

When we finally met with the parents, we told them how serious the situation was.  We reminded them that this was the third such meeting we were having this school year and that we didn't believe Boy wanted to be involved in the level of education our school required.  Being a charter school, Boy and his parents had agreed to certain policies and expectations before being enrolled.  He was not holding up his end of the bargain.  The principal laid out the expectation that Boy was to have a two week probation, during which he would prove that he still wanted to be a part of our school.  After two weeks we would examine his behavior and academic success.  Boy was not expected to suddenly become a straight A student, but he was to have ZERO missing assignments, illustrating his effort toward higher achievement.

The following week started, and the first assignment that was due was a book review I had reminded Mom of during our meeting.  There were essentially two questions on the book review.  Boy had filled out one of them and had noted that the other question didn't pertain to his book.  Are you kidding me?!  We had went over this in class about a billion and one times.  He knew exactly what the expectation was.  As Dad was bringing in homework for me to check in each morning, I told him the book review was incomplete and that I would not accept it as it was.  There were still 20 minutes until school started, so I suggested Boy go out to the playground and work on the assignment rather than playing.  Dad's response:  "Won't you even give him credit for trying?"  No sir, I will not.  THIS is not trying.

The agreement was that I would make myself available before school every morning so Dad could bring in the homework from the night before and I could let him know if anything was missing.  Boy would then have a chance to finish the work before school started.  I never did get that book review returned, and I only saw Dad on two mornings.  I think he knew where we were headed long before he admitted it.

Behavior still seemed to be a constant struggle for Boy, too.  Instead of working hard to stay on task and put effort into his learning, Boy was constantly trying to pull others around him off-task.  He was asked to leave two of his small-group instruction classes, and had several reports of misbehavior in reading circle.  Boy just didn't want to be at school.

Over the two weeks, it was my job to gather the evidence we needed to either support Boy in continuing at our school or to be asked to leave.  The scheduled Friday meeting finally came around, and I was a wreck.  I knew what the outcome was going to be, and I felt devastated that I couldn't help Boy any more.  There was nothing I could do to influence his life and to help him learn.  At some point we all have to realize that we can only do so much.  I felt like I was giving up on him, though.  I had promised I would never give up on a child.

During the meeting, the principal asked for my report, and I gave the information as matter-of-factly as I could.  I tried to keep emotion out of my findings.  I couldn't look at Mom, however, when she started to beg our principal to give Boy until the end of the school year.  No other school would take him, she cried, this late in the school year.  He is bound for failure and she doesn't know what to do with him.  Our school can help.  We must have heard a hundred different reasons why we should change our minds.  In the end, the principal did not budge and finally pointed out that we have tried everything we can to help Boy.  He has chosen not to help himself.

My principal said that he will be recommending expulsion to the Board.  The parents did have a legal right to withdraw Boy before then so the expulsion can be stopped and not be on Boy's record.  The parents hesitantly asked for the papers to withdraw, and the meeting was finally over.  That twenty minutes felt longer than the school day we had just finished.

After Boy and his parents left, I felt really bummed out.  My principal gave me his usual pep talk, then he proceeded to read my mind as he so often does.  "You know," he said, "you never gave up on Boy.  Right to the very last minute you tried to teach him how important his choices in life are.  You gave him every opportunity to make a different choice.  I'm proud of you.  Hopefully this will be a wake-up call to him, and he will one day realize that you are the teacher who cared enough to stop letting him slip through the cracks."

Boy had slipped through the cracks for so long that he didn't know how to put sentences together into a paragraph.  He wrote on an exit slip one day that he was confused about paragraphs.  In 6th grade we are working on essays and refining writing.  Yet this young man didn't really understand what a paragraph was.  So many times throughout the school year I had explained to him that I couldn't tell what he understood and what he didn't because he didn't ask questions.  He wasn't proactive enough to help me help him.  Add not doing homework or turning in classwork to the list, and you have a perfect recipe for disaster.  I hope the next school Boy attends picks up on this right away and can find a way to help him.  I hope Mom will listen to the next teacher who contacts her within the first couple of weeks and tells her that she is seriously concerned and needs her to support what is happening at school.  No more excuses.

I have come to realize that I didn't fail Boy, but our education system has.  His parents definitely have.  To allow a child to continue to pass through, knowing he can't read or write past a second grade level was irresponsible of previous teachers and Boy's parents.  Boy isn't old enough to truly understand the consequences of his refusal to do the work required.  I couldn't tie him to a chair and force him to struggle with the homework in an effort to succeed, but his parents could have.  Last year's teacher could have been honest enough to not pass Boy through to sixth grade.  The system failed, allowing Boy to get even more behind than he was on the day school started in July.

I honestly hope that Boy's next teacher is as honest as I am.  I hope he or she is able to get through to the parents to get him the help he needs to succeed.  Otherwise, I don't see a promising future for Boy, and that hurts terribly.  THIS, in my opinion, is the main consequence of our society who cannot handle to hear any faults of children.  In this "everybody wins" society, everybody DOESN'T win- the disappointment is only postponed.