Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Quotable Bits- June 19
I used to think I always needed to be productive. I always had to have a goal, an objective, a task to be completed. It drove me to do a lot of wonderful things, but I think I also missed out on some. I was never the type of sit around and play Barbies with my daughters. Sometimes I wish I had.
When I got sick I was forced to occupy my time doing what I would have normally considered wasting time. I never called it relaxing before that time. Sure, I would play on the internet, read, and horse around with video games, but I always felt that time had to be monitored and justified. I spent four months relearning how to live. I spent four months learning that life is about more than crossing "to-dos" off a list.
During the time I couldn't participate fully in life I made some wonderful on-line friends, reconnected with friends in real life, and spent more time with my family than I ever had. Interactions were sometimes overwhelming in large groups, so I spent a lot of time with just my husband and children, watching TV or doing something else that took little brain power. In a way, though at the time it frustrated the heck out of me, this was a blessing. I truly learned that spending time for ME, doing the things I enjoyed, was as essential as the feeling of accomplishment. The dishes didn't always have to be done the minute a meal ended, laundry didn't need to be folded the second the dryer stopped running, and if the floors didn't get swept one day that was just too bad. My husband, children, parents, family, and friends.... they couldn't wait another day. I didn't always know there would be another day.
I now enjoy life, and while I may not have the cleanest house I have a sense of satisfaction. I know that at the end of my life I will be able to say that I did the things that mattered most to me. I did the things that mattered the most to those I care about.