I used to think I always needed to be productive. I always had to have a goal, an objective, a task to be completed. It drove me to do a lot of wonderful things, but I think I also missed out on some. I was never the type of sit around and play Barbies with my daughters. Sometimes I wish I had.
When I got sick I was forced to occupy my time doing what I would have normally considered wasting time. I never called it relaxing before that time. Sure, I would play on the internet, read, and horse around with video games, but I always felt that time had to be monitored and justified. I spent four months relearning how to live. I spent four months learning that life is about more than crossing "to-dos" off a list.
During the time I couldn't participate fully in life I made some wonderful on-line friends, reconnected with friends in real life, and spent more time with my family than I ever had. Interactions were sometimes overwhelming in large groups, so I spent a lot of time with just my husband and children, watching TV or doing something else that took little brain power. In a way, though at the time it frustrated the heck out of me, this was a blessing. I truly learned that spending time for ME, doing the things I enjoyed, was as essential as the feeling of accomplishment. The dishes didn't always have to be done the minute a meal ended, laundry didn't need to be folded the second the dryer stopped running, and if the floors didn't get swept one day that was just too bad. My husband, children, parents, family, and friends.... they couldn't wait another day. I didn't always know there would be another day.
I now enjoy life, and while I may not have the cleanest house I have a sense of satisfaction. I know that at the end of my life I will be able to say that I did the things that mattered most to me. I did the things that mattered the most to those I care about.
6 comments:
What a great quote! I will have to remember this one. Thanks for the reminder.
love this quote. When did we start thinking that the things we enjoy were trivial and useless? the same moment we became mothers? I don't know. but after 7 years of SAHM supermom like pursuit --- I have become quite comfortable in achieving new depths of slackerdom. LOL
and it feels pretty darn good, gotta say.
Perfect quote, and a similar theme to mine this week! I agree that it's important to take that time to relax and enjoy those things that aren't a part of your regular routine. Thanks for linking up!
Thanks for stopping by everyone!
Rory, I do think that motherhood drives us to try to prove we are supermom. You have a good point. Before I had kids I knew how to relax. My husband has told me many times over the last several years that I need to take a class to remember how to slow down! I hate that it was a life-changing illness that did it, but I'm glad I've remembered how to take time for me. There's nothing wrong with being a slacker from time to time, and it DOES feel good!
Ha! I can relate to Rory. I used to feel I always had to be productive too and I exhausted myself into figure it out....but now I'm like the opposite and have to get a little motivation to set some goals and stuff! :-)
That's actually great MA. You deserve a break, especially right now! Setting goals is a good thing, but there is a time we go too far.
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