I usually don't spend money to buy books for my Kindle, but when I saw this one posted on a support group I follow, I just felt compelled to purchase it. Boy, am I glad I did! This was a GREAT short book about what living with bipolar disorder was like both before and after diagnosis.
The Hell of Me: My Life with Bipolar was written by a woman who lived through her disorder for many years, knowing something was wrong but not knowing WHAT. When she was diagnosed, it was a blessing. She finally knew what drove her to behave the way she did, and she finally got to experience quiet in her mind. To say she was relieved seems to be just a bit of an understatement.
At the end of the book, the author states that she wishes to spread hope to other families. She wants to let people know they are not alone in their journeys and that individuals who suffer from bipolar disorder CAN live fulfilling lives. She has definitely hit the nail on the head with her wishes! When I finished reading this story, I just sat... feeling for one of the first times since Daniel was diagnosed over a year ago that the positive changes I've seen aren't just an illusion. The rug isn't going to be pulled out from under us, there isn't going to be a television camera with a crew jumping out to say we've been punked... our lives truly are changing for the better.
THIS is exactly what makes this book so unique and so worth reading. This author isn't afraid to say that with hard work, life can be GOOD! You see, ever since Daniel was diagnosed I've been searching for something to tell me that I don't have to live on the edge anymore. I don't have to build protection from the world that is bound to come crashing down around me. Until now, I haven't found that. I have found staggering divorce rates, even among those treated for bipolar disorder. I have heard accounts of people being stable for years, then losing it all in the blink of an eye. I have heard person after person saying that all is good.... for now. Not one person has told me that bipolar disorder isn't an ugly monster that is ready to jump out from behind the curtain at any moment. Not one person has told me that with the proper treatment life is enjoyable and even peaceful. For the last year, I have kept my guard up high, so high it's been impossible to relax enough to enjoy the goodness, the positive changes I've seen in my husband.
The Hell of Me sounded so familiar that I finally believe I have a peek into exactly what my husband suffered through from the time he was a child until he was 33 years old. The book's author seems to have had very similar experiences to my husband, which many bipolar sufferers share. The biggest piece I understand now is the constant chatter in the head. Not being able to shut down thoughts has got to be annoying. I experience that to a small degree, but I couldn't image truly NOT being able to stop thinking and going.
If you have a family member who has been diagnosed with bipolar, I urge you to pick up this book. Even though it is short, it is well worth the $3 I spent for this Kindle edition. I honestly believe that knowledge is power, and I have added yet another weapon into my arsenal against bipolar.
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