Bipolar Update

It's been awhile since I've posted an update on Daniel and how he is doing with his bipolar treatment.  Things are pretty good.  He's been stable with some minor ups and downs, but we all have a bit of mood swings.  I'd really worry if he was perfectly stable every minute of every day.  That would be like living with a robot or a zombie.

Over the past couple of months I have seen one change in Daniel that was surprising and a little difficult to get used to at first.  He has become independent, not in a bad way but it's just different for him.  Daniel has formed some friendships that he really seems to enjoy.  More often now he wants to hang out with those friends, either alone or with me, but these are plans that HE is making.  It is so strange to see him schedule time for recreation on our family calendar!  Since I have been used to being the planner, it's been a little awkward when I assume we have free time, and Daniel has scheduled something else.

Our disagreements have become so much more "normal."  If we do fight it's been about things other couples deal with on a regular basis- how to spend our money, how to handle our (almost) teenage daughters, household chores, etc.  We've never disagreed about this stuff, because I mostly handled everything.  The burden being taken off my shoulders is great, but it is difficult to give up control a little bit.  Frankly, it's a bit scary, too.  I've always known exactly what was happening in our finances and had a plan for getting things done the way I wanted to do them.  In some ways it's like I was an independent woman living in the middle of a family.  Now I actually have to share decisions and roles, and it's not always the most comfortable process.

The hardest change I've had to make is learning to trust.  I need to learn to trust that everything IS okay, and when we hit a bump in the road it doesn't mean we are careening off course completely.  I need to trust that Daniel IS thinking intelligently when he chooses to spend money or to hang out with friends. I need to trust that it's okay to let go of some control.  If we fall, we'll get back up.  Daniel needs to make some of the same mistakes I did when learning to run an efficient household.  His way may not necessarily always be my way, but it's not the end of the world.  In many ways it is like we are first married all over again.  I am growing with a whole new person, one with a lot more confidence than the guy I knew a little over a year ago.  It's a little strange, but there is a lot to be excited about.