School's Out for Summer!

Whooo Hoooo!  I made it through my first full-time year of teaching.  Around Christmas time I would have told you this year was no different than the one before when I taught part-time.  I have quickly revised that thought, though!

Last year I had it made; I taught Social Studies, which was not tested on state testing.  Preparing students for the big test is demanding, both emotionally and physically.  Last year I was lucky; our school had final exams on the last day of school, keeping students engaged right up until the very last minute.  This year, however, was challenging in many different ways.  I was so exhausted on Friday night that I was in bed by 7:30 and was asleep shortly after.

If I had to sum up my experience this year in one phrase, I would have to say, "But Mrs. Last Year's Teacher...."  Sadly, on the last day of school I realized that my entire experience this year was wrapped up in "Mrs. Last Year's Teacher."  All of the frustrations with my students and their parents came from the fact that I could never live up to her.  Even on the very last day of school I was explaining to students that the activities I had planned for them reflected MY personality and the way that I wanted to wrap up the year.  The students pouted that I didn't have the same events planned and stated that I was not fun.  It hurt.  Truthfully, I was so thankful that I would never have to hear that statement again that it dawned on me that I didn't enjoy this year as much as I could have due to the ghost of "Mrs. Last Year's Teacher."  This was not simply a case of missing 5th grade; these kids honestly thought "Mrs. Last Year's Teacher" was perfect in every way.

I'm not going to tell you that I didn't enjoy this year.  I did.  I learned a lot, and I really do love teaching.  But it was challenging emotionally, and there were many times I wondered if I was where I was meant to be.  Me being me, though, I am already excited for next year to start.  I can't wait to meet a whole new group of students and have a fresh start.  I will still be the teacher I want to be, but I do have some new ideas for building a community of learners.  I can't wait to see what next school year will bring!

Goodbye 2012-2013.  I really do hope my students learned as much as I did this year.

Encouraged to Continue

It happens EVERY time.  Each time I think I'm going to shut down this blog for good, something happens that makes me want to keep writing.  This time it was incredibly ironic, as I had already hit the "delete blog" button and said goodbye in my mind.

The other day at work another teacher said, "I found your blog and I really like it."  I thought she was talking about my classroom blog, and we talked for a few minutes.  I suddenly realized she was talking about my personal blog- this one!  For just a moment I was silent with fear.  I never really expected anyone I know to stumble here, even though that has been my concern for the past couple of years.

Thank you, C.H. for your kind words and your encouragement!  This coworker reassured me about several of the thoughts I've had, and she didn't even know I was thinking about those things.  She said I did a great job of staying positive and not mentioning names that could be privacy issues.  She enjoyed my writing style and felt like I had interesting stories.  Whooo Hooo!

Here I was, ready to give up writing because I didn't really have anything interesting to say anymore.  I wonder how many others have read this blog and not commented.  So, I'm back again.  It's amazing how I keep arriving at this exact point.  As always, it is with encouragement that I am here.  I can't wait to share my summer with you!

Stand Up for Mental Health

Mental Health Disorders Info

Grades

As a teacher, the most stressful time of each quarter is the week before grades are due.  That means each quarter as we head for break I am a complete wreck.  It's not because there is so much work to do; actually the work load decreases significantly as I am preparing to wrap up the term.  All of the sudden, though, parents and their children care about their grades.  They haven't really been worried for the eight weeks prior, but they want to know how to pull the grades up.

Out of the blue, work that has been missing for weeks is turned in.  I have found a way to make that grading go quickly; students get half credit for late work.  What is harder, though, is the stack of paperwork that students want me to copy.  Worksheets that they lost, instructions to assignments that they don't remember, it all adds up to more work for me.

I have been telling students for two weeks that all missing assignments were due on Friday, giving me enough time to get my final grades in by our Wednesday deadline.  On Thursday, the request for papers was incredible.  I finally told students I just couldn't get them everything they needed.  We had a nice class discussion about being proactive.  I feel badly, but I'm really trying to realize that their lack of planning is not my emergency.  I do the best I can to help students be successful, but I just couldn't produce everything they needed at the last minute.

Saturday afternoon I got an email from a parent that hurt me tremendously.  She was upset that I "gave" her son a failing grade in social studies, even though I explained his danger of not passing more than four weeks ago.  I offered an extra credit assignment, that if done well, could raise his grade by 50 points, giving him a B or possibly an A.  The assignment would have really shown comprehension of the subject, thus taking the place of the original scores.  I figured that I would give the student the benefit of the doubt that he just needed more time to master the material.  In my mind, this was a win-win situation for all of us.

Friday afternoon, the deadline for the extra credit assignment, I looked at what was turned in, and I was disappointed.  The project was half done and lacked effort.  I only gave him half the points I had told the parent were possible, and I honestly felt that was being generous.

I've done my best to motivate this student, and I was told in the email that the parent felt I had not given the student credit for the hard work he put into the original work in social studies.  I hate that.  I hate the implication that I don't see the good in my students; I do.  When they have a gap in the skills necessary to be successful, though, I am honest about that.

I hate grades.  I hate the judgement that parents, students, and teachers feel surrounding those scores.  I've done my best, though, and I just have to remind myself that assigning grades is part of the job I signed up for.

Allergy Test Results

So, the allergist was a bit baffled at the results of the skin tests. He really expected to see different results. Because of this, he ordered a total of nine blood tests to be done. A couple of them are to confirm some of the allergies that showed up. One is to test for Valley Fever, which he is pretty sure will be positive. The other is to finally get a "real" test for Lupus, which he will also not be surprised at a positive result after looking at how swollen my fingers and wrists were yesterday. He also ordered a test to check for antibodies to confirm if I ever actually had shingles. He really wants to know if that really was shingles that put me in the hospital two years ago or if we have been barking up the wrong tree all this time. I'm not sure what the other tests are for, but that's enough for now.

Even though my allergy tests showed I am allergic to pretty much the entire outdoors for ten months out of the year, he didn't prescribe or even recommend a daily allergy medication. I'm not having any of the symptoms that go along with those allergies typically, so the medication may not help. He's waiting until the blood tests come back to see if there is something else that is causing the reactions to the pollen.

He did ask me to stay away from onion, tomato, and citrus fruit altogether, but I only have to worry about the foods themselves. I don't have to read labels and look for hidden ingredients. Just the obvious foods. So, no more pizza or chilli for me. WHAT am I going to request for my birthday dinner now? Since I can remember (age ten at the very least), I have had lasagna or chilli on my birthday.

Finally, I am VERY allergic to cats and should not sit on couches where cats have been hanging out. It looks like I'll be sitting at my parents' dining room table for now when we visit, until he decides what to do after reviewing the blood tests. The only other thing that I had more of a reaction to than cats was parakeet feathers. What a strange thing to test for and to react to. He said I should not get a pet bird of any kind.

Allergies Part II

So, I'm basically allergic to the whole outside.  Seriously.  My biggest reaction to yesterday's testing was rye grass, but there were many trees and weeds/ bushes, too.  Thursday I'll go back to find out what the treatment plan is going to be.  I'm hoping this is going to give me the answers I'm looking for as to why I constantly feel sick.  At this point I'm ready to just find out how to get better.

Who Are You? Part 7 (Part 2)

Ha, this is part 2 for ME, but this was originally written as Part 7 on Sunday Stealing.  See Part 1 for more answers in this series.

94. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?
I hate this question every time I see it.  I have NO clue, and I kind of like that about life.  Four years ago I couldn't have told you I would be here doing exactly what I am doing.  I like that life is unpredictable.  What I DO know is that my oldest daughter will be getting ready to learn to drive and my youngest daughter will be getting ready to enter high school.  CRAZY!

95. If you could choose, how would you want to leave this world?
I don't think I have a preference, and I really don't want to get to make that decision.  No matter how I go, I hope it is painless for me and does not cause my family trauma.

96. If you had only one week to live, what three things would be bumped up on the bucket list?
I don't have a bucket list.  I have really done everything that I want to.  I guess I would visit Sea World and the San Diego Zoo.  Even that, though, would depend on where my family was financially.  If that trip would leave them hurting for money, I would just stay home and enjoy our time together.

97. What is one thing about you that really stands out?
Nothing really stands out about me, and I like it that way.  I like that I can blend into the background when needed, especially in crowds.

98. What three words best describe your personality?
Generous, honest, friendly.

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
Blunt, kind, giving.

100. What advice do you have to give?
Live life YOUR way.  Only you know where you have been and where you want to go.