Follow Friday- May 4

1. I can't stand it when people say "I know how you feel" when they haven't had my experience.  I know people are trying to be nice- I really do.  And, for the most part I appreciate that they are trying to empathize.  However, unless you've been in my shoes you really DON'T know how I feel.  Whatever comes after that phrase is usually some tip that is really not helpful to me.  I would rather hear, "That really sucks" sometimes.

2. If you are going to throw up please go home.  Seriously, I don't understand why people come to school sick.  The other day the school secretary wasn't sure she was going to make it through the day.  Go home and rest!  I understand work ethic.  I really do, and I admire a strong one.  But, we need to be more understanding of employees and make it okay to be home when we really need time off.  Then there was the kid walking through the hall saying she knew she was going to throw up at some time throughout the day.  Yes, I want you in class as often as possible.  School IS important.  But I really don't want to deal with sick kids, either.  Stay home if you are not well!  

3. Call me a bad mom because I let my girls have sleep-overs two weekends in a row and ENJOYED the peace both evenings!  I really do feel somewhat guilty about this, though I know that Daniel and I needed this quiet time.  Both weekends the events were unplanned, so Daniel and I just kind of hung around the house watching TV and regrouping.  Both weekends it's been so nice to wake up and get moving at my own pace.  I love my girls, and I love spending time with them, but their pre-teen attitudes have been hard to handle lately. They fight from the time they wake until after they are in bed.  I think we've all enjoyed some time to ourselves, and this week Amber was with Grandma.  I'm sure she's not feeling like she's missed out on anything!  Andrea is already getting to that age where she doesn't want to be home much, anyway, and she was with close friends of ours so I know she was well cared for.

4. If I had a dollar for every time I heard how great I'm doing or how strong I am , I swear I'd be a millionaire by now.  This goes along with #1.  I know people are trying to help and don't know what to say.  I know they are trying to encourage me, and on most days it feels good.  There are days, however, when I DO want to feel sorry for myself, just like I'd feel for anyone else in my situation.  I haven't always shared every detail of what is happening with me, so it's hard to know what is actually happening for me.  To tell you the truth, I'm falling apart.  I don't feel strong at all.  I do what I have to in order to get through life.  I've stopped talking about still being sick myself because I'm just frustrated with it.  That led to its own set of problems that I'll write about soon.  Then Daniel's diagnosis came.  Yeah, I've got a lot on my plate, but I'm doing nothing more than anyone else would.  I struggle a lot much of the time.  I definitely don't feel as strong as people give me credit for.  Then I just feel miserable that I could be doing better.  It's a vicious cycle.